True Life Story: See What Happened After I Supported My Husband’s Dream To Travel Abroad
Hello Lively Stones,
Ladies and gentlemen, I am in soup…serious soup. Is it a crime for a wife to support her husband’s dream again? I just discovered that the husband that I married and have 2 children for may be gay. I say may be because I am hoping that I am not the one jumping into conclusion. So, you see, we are young professionals but as we are all aware, there is no opportunities for professionals in this country. I met my husband during NYSC, we got married and we got employed but both our take home is not up to N400k even though like I said, we are professionals.
Our mates and counterparts earn as much as over a million in most well paying companies but things have we have not been lucky with those kind of lucrative job offers. So, my husband and I decided that we should seek better opportunities abroad. My husband is a 2.2 graduate of Accounting (with ICAN certification) and me too, I have a 2.1 in Banking and Finance, I earn 180k every month before deductions and hubby earns about 200k in the consulting firm where he works.
With both our incomes with 2 children, its been really hard. So, since last year, we have been applying for visa and scholarship in schools abroad but it has not worked out. The schools that gave my husband admission abroad do not give scholarship, the cost is so high. They have denied him admission and visa if he cannot pay a part of the fees. We tried the work route to travel and still nothing has happened.
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My husband now told me that his friend that he used to know while in Uni contacted him and he wants to help. In other words, this guy has travelled and has gotten work permit, he wants to invite my husband over for a visit and from there, they will find a way to look for work for him. My husband started getting ready for the travelling for like 4 months ago.
Eventually, it was a few days for him travel when one day, I was breastfeeding my second baby, when my phone rang…I took it from my first child that was playing with it but he started crying. So, I gave him his dad’s phone to play games so he can be quiet when am on the phone….as I was on the phone, my son mistakenly clicked on whatsapp and opened a p*rn video….I quickly cut the call cos the sound was so loud. I dragged the phone from my boy immediately.
And then saw that it was not just p*rn but gay porn. And it came from the whatsapp chats that hubby has been having with this his friend in the US that has been planning to invite him over to help him. I saw all their chats and saw this guy was telling hubby that the best way to get a stay in US is to become gay as the US people will emphasize with him and give him papers if he says he is gay in naija and his life is in danger. This guy was sending him all these videos to teach my husband how to act like these gay people.
My world shattered that day. Its just a few days to his travel. I started crying. I confronted my hubby and told him I will not agree to this plan…he said its just a pretense ….that he is not gay and all he wants is just to be able to travel. That he and his friend have planned everything. That he will travel there…and then they will pretend to be gay lovers….seek for asylum and visa over there….that after a while…they will break up and then he can be free again to live the way he wants and then invite me.
I totally rejected this plan but hubby kept telling me that its the only way. And he made me swear not to tell anyone about the plan. I cried all through the remaining days before he travelled but he kept consoling me, that its just for a while. As a good wife that I am, I agreed reluctantly…bade him farewell and have being praying for him ever since he travelled. When he arrived, he called me and everything was fine. We used to call everyday until last month. He stopped calling.
I became worried and kept sending him messages. Until last week…he called and said he is in trouble. That his friend has betrayed him. That his friend is saying, he will not help him get his papers as agreed before he travelled unless, my husband marries him. In other words, until my husband agrees to legally marry him…he will not help him get his papers. That alot of Nigerians are doing it, its just part of the hustle. That he loves me so much but he has no choice. That is the new condition ….this condition is what my husband has been struggling with. Either to accept or return back by the time his visitors visa expire by the end of October.
I told hubby that was not the agreement and I will never be a party to it. I had to inform my elder sister. She was so upset and she said my husband is really gay and only deceived me to travel out and be with his lover. She said that its grounds for divorce that my husband lied to me all along…oh my God…Do you believe that? Is my hubby really gay? Did he really deceive me? But if he is gay, why did he marry me and father kids with me? And he is still promising me that even though he has to marry his friend to remain in the US…that he will divorce him when he has his papers.
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Hubby is ready to swear or sign any document with me that he will divorce that man after like two years of marriage…is that enough to prove that he is being sincere with me? I cannot imagine what my husband is saying….will he be sleeping with this man? Having anal s3x for that two years? He said no that he can never do it but I am not convinced. How does this male friend of yours want to marry you without s3x? but then I remember how he used to watch gay p*rn and my mind is telling me that my husband is into this thing for real….have I lost my husband? Is he lying to me?
What should I do? Should I wait for two years and see if he will honor his promise to me or should I just divorce him now….I am just 27 years old…I cant do this anymore. if he even wanted to marry a fellow woman like me, just to get papers…maybe I can bear it but a man? How do I tell my family and my children that their father is marrying a fellow man? Just for papers? My husband is even warning me not to tell anyone otherwise he may face deportation. Is there any justification for me to trust my husband … be patient and watch out what his actions will be after two years?
Please advise me.
Anonymous
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Hello,
The path your husband is taking whether pretence or real is wrong.
Pray and fast for your home and husband, breaking those spirits that have enticed him.
Do not agree to any of these.
Don’t be quick to seek divorce fight for your husband to come back to his senses.
Involve his family that can help in a godly manner and your Pastor.
What God has put together, let no man put asunder.
I’m reading this story again and wondering, if your husband’s friend has no actual intentions with your husband why would he go through this length? He already has a work permit and on his way to becoming an American citizen.
What would it benefit him to marry someone ( your husband) for two years and slow his own life down?
If your husband’s friend has intentions towards your husband, do you know it’s easy to contact STD’s from him having other Partners? Can you flag this to your husband perhaps it would jerk him back to his senses.
Does your husband not have it on record that he is married? Did he conceal it in his documentation when traveling? I know you mentioned your original plan, but he could have been married turned … Because if he did, he cannot marry someone else without a divorce.
There are other ways to travel abroad, what would it profit a man to gain US citizenship and loose his soul?
Aside from this being wrong, I’m finding it difficult to believe your husbands friend would go this length just to help your husband for absolutely nothing. Why in the world would he do all this if he has nothing to gain.
Also dear lady, if it is true your husbands friend just wanted to show him how they act, he would send him a video of how they talk, walk, seat etc. not their type of porn because the authorities won’t be there when they are doing their thing. All the authorities will see to believe him is how he carries himself. WAKE UP with a capital W.
‘Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”’ 1 Cor 15:33
Your husband is not telling you the entire truth.
God allowed you to intercept his phone to see what was about to happen, that was your chance to dissociate yourself from this act. You have a 2nd to stop this rubbish or at least to kick against it.
hhahahaha see as you dey worry over mere imaginations , calm down stop worrying.
You have two kids already, focus on your work , your husband would be fine , he is not gay . How do I know ? He has lived with you for over 4 years now n there was no trace until now so relax , let him follow through with his plans , he has sworn that he loves you and even more the kids , why worry about what your family would say when it was what u two agreed before left so why back out now when he has gotten there already .
Dear poster,your husband fathered two children with you because he is bisexual.
Why don’t you just manage with the pay you’re getting for now? Hun! Why don’t you manage the pay that’s less than 400k than put yourselves in this mess in other to seek for greener pastures.
You’re still young,that’s why your husband cannot listen to you,your husband is a deceiver,if your child hadn’t used his phone to play,how would you have known that he has such a disgusting porn video in his phone?
Madam,be wise! Stop your husband before it’s too late,he might implicate you oooo or are you ready to take care of two children alone?
Why don’t you manage with what you’re earning here in Nigeria rather than go through this mess. It’s well.
Some people are abroad buying houses in Nigeria,while the ones in Nigeria are selling their properties in other to relocate abroad. What an irony of life
Unu zukwanike,Jiri ya wayo,you people should be calming down oooooo
Dear poster all I see is problem loading and more problems
Honestly I am not against going abroad but only if the conditions and means are conducive, fair and just
Almost 400k in a month isn’t that bad in this present economy what lead you guys into this mess is greed and social class you want to bambam and role with the big boys in town from what the story explains.
Anyways he has traveled that’s the most important thing to be considered if he’s sincere to tell you that the friend wants marriage with him despite the fact he hidded the conditions initially to traveled hmmmmm
There’s an adage that says ” when you give the devil an inch he takes a mile” I smell unforseen problems waiting to be unravelled it not easy to divorce over there unlike in Nigeria it comes with conditions you might not know what you’re getting into until you’re inside yourself.
Precise I believe your husband is ready for any marital obligations from his friend as perceived in the story
My advice is this just let him be hope and focus on your children, the mistake is done already if he’s sincere to return to you or request for you come after the divorcing the guy within the stipulated time over there oblige he might not be a gay
Also he might still have the love for you and the family at heart and making plans even if its a very costly and dangerous plan otherwise just pray and be hopeful because there’s nothing you can do at this stage
What if he refused to return and move on what will you do?
expect the worse also be hopeful and prayerful don’t forget to focus on your children if he offer to support you don’t reject it.
May God grant you and your home that peace that you seek
If you seek asylum then you denounce your roots. In fact,you rather seek asylum based on any other thing rather than gaysm coz if US ever grants citizenship based on such and it’s realized later to be a hoax,he will be deported as banned from ever entering the US again. Please research on all these and share with him to convince him otherwise. It’s either he’s really hidden well his sexuality or hes just stupidly desperate. Speaking of hiding, he should know the US isn’t like Africa. If they want to catch you, trust me, it won’t be a hustle for them. He would rather have taken the religious pathway, some churches can help you seek asylum while in US but this one,I know deep down, you will never join him there as his wife,that one is for sure.
You said something like his visitors visa will expire October end if he doesn’t do it, please, tell him to forget the whole thing and come back.
Please, stand your ground that he must come back this October.
*Comparison is a thief of Joy*
With my very little knowledge, … I think your husband is under intense pressure from YOU. Which is driving him into all this issue.
You mentioned some of your friends having better lucrative offers, Do you sometimes compare him with those others ?
At times , I have seen women make some remarks to their husband jokingly about how so and so is Doing so well and their Families are enjoying. This things put a man understand pressure to PERFORM, TO COMPETE, is EGO is on the line….
As irritating as the whole Gay thing is, if my postulation is correct, your husband may not be Gay, But trust me he will go any extent to REVIVE his EGO. Even if it means engaging in unethical behavior.
I’m just speaking from one perspective , this may not be the case. But your statement on other friends doing better says something about what is going on in your home.
If he declined the gay request and returns, Remember not to put him under pressure
https://uk.yahoo.com/news/asylum-seekers-pretend-gay-special-161734095.html