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True Life Story: Please Help-My Husband’s Addiction Is Causing My Depression


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True Life Story: Please Help-My Husband’s Addiction Is Causing My Depression

Hello Lively Stones,

Please I want to remain anonymous. I have been married for 11 years now. I think I am slowly slipping into depression because of my husband’s addiction and I need help. My husband and I have a fairly good marriage, we have challenges here and there but have managed to stay happy in all of these. However, our s3x life is suffering. It all started about two years ago. My husband used to love having s3x every time in the early years of our marriage. In short, he wanted s3x everyday, I was the one asking him to calm down. I managed to keep it to 3 or 4 times a week.

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Two years ago, I noticed his s3x drive started reducing to once a week. If I tried to initiate s3x, he would come too quickly, less than a minutes. I was worried but I said nothing. But after a while, I had to ask him what is happening and he said he too is surprised. So, I thought maybe its work stress, so I did not bother him too much, I began to manage the once a week s3x after all, life is not all about s3x. Unfortunately, that once a week became very frustrating, he could barely last 5 mins.

I complained and he felt bad. He started taking ginger and garlic and tiger nut drinks. They helped a little. At least he would last like 8 mins. But he still could not want s3x for more than once in a week or sometimes one in two weeks. So I had sloppy 8 mins s3x once in two weeks. Sometimes two and a half weeks. I tried to ignore my urges by pleasuring myself to orgasm. I admit, I watched a few p*rn videos, just to keep me sane.

Then about seven months ago, I caught my husband watching prn and pleasuring himself. I did not judge him…but I told him I was sad that he would not satisfy me in bed but he would be using adult movies to get satisfaction for himself. He apologized and said he will improve. Then one day, as he tried to make love to me, he could not get a hard on, he asked me to wait….he quickly brought out his phone, he started watching prn as I watched in horror….the video he was watching made him have a hard on instantly.

Before I knew it, hubby was now fcking me with so much vigor and strength. I enjoyed it…we both came together for the first time in years. I was like, so if its the prn video that will help him satisfy me, why not. So, that became our routine….he would watch those videos and when hes hard…he gives it to me. The problem now is that…my husband has become addicted to prn. Any moment, he is on his phone, he is watching prn. I tell him to be careful because he is getting addicted but he says he is practicing for me.

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I fear that his phone may be hacked one day and he may be embarrassed by what may be exposed from his phone. I also fear that one of our children may mistakenly see what he has on his phones one day. And to be honest, these days,…..he wacks himself more than penetrating me. He will wake up in the morning, start watching p*rn, wack himself before going to work….he will do the same when he returns…he must wack himself before he sleeps. He can’t sleep without it.

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My husband is a prn addict and I am beginning to detest him. I feel like the prn is what is destroying our marriage. I no longer enjoy s3x with him….I feel dirty when he is fcking me after watching those videos. I think he is visualizing me as one of those prn stars in those videos. I feel like I am loosing my husband and my husband is loosing himself to this thing. I have asked him to seek help and he says there is nothing wrong with him. Last couple of days, as we were having s3x, I was crying. I was crying because this is no longer fun….something is wrong with our marriage….my husband does not see it and I don’t know how to fix it.

Please please help me. My husband does not think anything is wrong…he says those videos are to spice up our s3x live because without it, he cannot perform…yet….its like without it…my husband cannot breathe…and as for me…I am tired of p*rn ruling my marriage…what can I do? I cannot tell anyone cos that will hurt my husband’s feelings….even his ego…he may never forgive me. He has justified his actions saying at least he is not cheating on me with another woman…but I am dying inside….I am slowly slipping into depression. I need help.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Porn is one of the greatest disasters visited on any society – high speed internet porn has harmed society more than anything else. And anyone who wants to say it hasn’t or wants to try to minimize its devastation, simply hasn’t done his (or her) homework.

    You are on solid ground to make some pretty firm demands of your husband. Porn addiction is rampant, but a lot of men are realizing that porn is ruining more than their marriages. It ruins their sex lives, distracts them from work, causes symptoms of ADD, depression and anxiety. It is the cause even lost jobs. And of course, it destroys intimacy and trust in marriage.

    Since people are realizing the destructive power of porn, they are coming forward with testimonies of how to break the addiction.

    Here’s the thing. If your husband is willing to admit his addiction and take the steps to get free of porn, and he’s willing to work through it with you honestly, your marriage can survive. But he should be willing to end his addiction.

    He may or may not sense an urgency to give up on porn, and don’t be surprised if he chooses that instead of you. Porn numbs people to what really matters.

    Lastly let him seek good counsel from a therapist

    I wish you guys the best in your relationship may you guys overcome it sooner than expected.

  2. TIPS

    You have to be the porn yourself to make him stop watching.
    It’s possible your husband likes adventurous sex. You have to make him feeling like he is watching porn in you.
    You should always initiate sex but not on the bed only. You should be ready to have sex anywhere as far as it’s not public. If your house is fenced have sex in the compound
    Wear sexy lingerie when ever he is at home. Don’t forget your light make-up with bold lip stick.
    Learn some pole dance technics. Dance for him m. Make him feel tempted always.
    Always seduce him like asking him to bring you towel in the bathroom once he brings it blow him a kiss and ask him to join you if he agrees, fine but if he doesn’t just laugh and make the laugh obvious.
    Tell him to come help you check something in your v jay and you know that their is obviously nothing their. If he comes tell him to use his dick to help you scratch it.

    I come in peace☺️☺️

  3. sexual desire is complex and has to do with many more factors than just nutrition, including an individual’s relationships, stress levels, and personal preference.

    It is natural for people to experience ups and downs in their interest in sex. Many alternative healthcare practitioners claim diet can help such as Avocados,Green Tea,Watermelon, banana, Tiger nuts,dates, coconut, Try Some Herbs, garlic, ginger and red wine etc

    By adding these foods to his diet on a regular basis you can see an increase in libido.

    Not to mention, most of the foods that encourage higher sex drive and libido typically are an overall healthy choice for the long game as well.

    Although the decision to eat a certain food may seem like it doesn’t matter much, over time your daily food choices will add up.

    You can make your dietary preferences work towards a higher libido rather than against that goal.

    Taking care of your health in this way will increase your chances of a long and fulfilling sex life.

  4. Hmmm…

    Know this and know peace.

    Porn is nobody’s mate… Please avoid it at all cost,

    It corrupts the mind with imagery thoughts of naked strangers pleasuring each other.

    Now, if the sight of this act arouses you,  be warned… you’re playing with fire.

    Because, the chances are, the urge to want more of the feeling will grow.

    So, it’s no surprise that something that usually starts as a little curiosity ends up as an addiction.

    It might also interest you to know that this sexual arousal initiated via porn will eventually, in due time, open the door to LUST.

    The real trouble or destruction begins with LUST in the picture…

    These are the wahala that ensues as a result:

    • Victim struggles to get aroused without porn
    • Victim’s partner feels sexually inadequate
    • Victim and partner suffer diminished sexual
    satisfaction and emotional closeness
    • Victim struggles with masturbation
    • Infidelity in marriage

    All these and more happens because a third party or multiple parties has been invited in the relationship.

    Wet dreams are very likely as a result of this third party (spirit spouse).

    Please and please, may we not use our hand to destroy our destiny.

    The path to recovery is:

    • Awareness of the ills of porn
    • Genuine resolve to stop porn and take actions against it
    • Purifying your mind from any filthy thoughts
    • Getting an accountability partner if necessary, to help in the process of recovery.
    • Seeking God’s face in prayers for forgiveness and deliverance

    Dear Poster, there’s hope for recovery in your marriage. Enlighten your hubby on this subject.

    If he’s open to end this addiction, everything will be fine again.

    May God restore your marriage.


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