True Life Story: Their Marriage Has Been Over For Years But I Slept With My Friend’s Husband
Dear Lively Stones,
My friends and his wife are going through a divorce. They have been dragging this divorce for about 3 years now. They do not have any children. Deji, my brother’s friend married Jasmine, my friend, 4 years ago. I think it was infatuation. They were married under a year of meeting.
Well, Deji is a successful career guy and Jasmine is a medical doctor in Canada. It was long distance at first but when Jasmine came down to Lagos for annual leave, things moved pretty fast for them. They both ignored the red flags. For example, they are both very opiniated people. Their arguments was always intense but they somehow managed to settle their issues.
There was also the issue of cultural and moral issues. Jasmine is more westernized, almost thinks like a feminist but Deji felt she would chill after marriage. After marriage, Deji went to join Jasmine in Canada. Things went bad pretty fast. They argued and eventually, they started being abusive to each other hence they both filed for divorce.
Somehow, Jasmine moved to US during the divorce and that stalled the whole process. Deji on his part, being a guy has been in a few relationships even though his divorce is not final. well, he is a guy, his soon to be ex wife is in US… he came back to Nigeria, he got a huge job offer back home.
Deji is a dear friend and I will never look at him anyway else but something happened. I broke up with my boyfriend just before Valentine this year. It was a very big betrayal. I thought we were good and perhaps going to get married. He apparently was sleeping with a work colleague and chose her over me.
I needed time away from preying eyes and questions from friends and family about how my cocoyam head boyfriend left me. Deji called me to come hide out in his place. I was never worried cos it never crossed my mind that anything could go wrong. I moved to deji’s luxury apartment in Ikoyi and spent almost 3 weeks there, just hiding.
Everything was cool until one night, I had made pepper soup for dinner. I hardly cook but that day, I made a delicacy and Deji was just locking his fingers. When I finished and went to my room, Deji knocked in a few minutes later and when he came in, he said if he could kiss me, that he knows its not normal but he suddenly realized that he has a strong attraction for me. That I remind him of the good times he had with Jasmine, my friend.
We had S** that night. I don’t regret it. It felt very comforting. I told Deji we can’t continue and he said why not. I said because we are friends and he said maybe that is why both of us have not found others to love, maybe we are supposed to be together. Deji and I have been together for a month now. We are still keeping the situation a secret for now cos we want to be absolutely sure before we tell anyone.
Right now, I am very happy. With Deji, I started to believe in finding love again. He makes me laugh and everyday he wants to make love to me. This feels like a dream. Like, I just found my dream guy. Deji broke off with his casual girl just to try and work things out with me. He is already talking we take a vacation to Dubai for summer.
Out of the blues, few days ago, Jasmine starts to chat with me. Telling me she realizes she made a mistake with Deji and she thinks she wants to get back with him. She was asking me if Deji is seeing anyone now. I panicked and told her to forget about Deji, that he has a serious relationship but this girl says she is coming back to Nigeria and she will do whatever she can to get Deji back.
I am really scared and confused. I have not told Deji but I am torn between telling Jasmine that I am with Deji and telling Deji that Jasmine is thinking of reconciling with him. I have been so hurt in the past, I fear I might get hurt again…but I have come to fall for Deji. He knows me better than any guy I have been with…I do not want to loose him. From just being friends, I now see how S**y and irresistible Deji is. I can’t breathe at the thought of loosing him.
Deji and Jasmine have not been together for 3 years but I fear that if he knows that Jasmine wants him back, it might give him hope of reconciling back to her. I know he was always smitten by her beauty but they are incompatible. What if chooses her and start having feelings for her again. I fear also that if Jasmine knows about me and Deji, she would hate me. What should I do? Please advice me.
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