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True Life Story: Why I Am Keeping A Secret Relationship


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Hi Lively Stones,

I need your advice. Five years ago, I was flying to South Africa in a big plane. I ended up sitting beside two lovely ladies. I found out later that they were mother and daughter. I chatted with the mother mostly cos she was the one sitting close to me. I found out she was a single mother, never been married, she had her daughter as a teenager and now, she is 39 while her daughter is 23. They were going to SA for a conference.

I found out the ladies run a business together and they are like best friends which I can relate to since the mother had her like very young. I met up with the ladies at their hotel later and I was really attracted to the mother. I let her know I was attracted to her but she was like, her daughter told her that she finds me attractive so we can’t date. The mother encouraged me to date the daughter. I thought about it and we started dating even after we got back to Nigeria.

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The daughter is also very brilliant and attractive to me. Very lovely…but I find myself still thinking of the mother even while I am with the daughter. After like 2 months of dating, the daughter said we should break up cos she feels like its not working out. I did not argue, we broke up. The mom later called me to ask what happened, I could not lie to her, I told her I am attracted to her.

Me and the mom met later and we have been seeing each other secretly for a while. We decided that she should tell her daughter herself….she did and the daughter said she is fine with it. Fast forward to a few months later….the daughter comes back and says she is still in love with me and can’t get over me. I tried to tell her its her mom I want but she is pressuring me to take her as side chick. I had to tell the mom.

This made her mom very sad so she suggested we break up. At this point, I decide to leave both women cos I cannot be the cause of a mother and daughter conflict. I am now in a relationship with someone else but I am still very much in love with the mom….I cant stop thinking about her…even though I am in a committed relationship, I called the the mom last month and met secretly. I spent an entire day with her…I realized that …we can’t stop seeing each other…

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I don’t know what to do about the daughter….don’t know how long before she finds out about me and her mother…the mom is feeling bad, that she has sacrificed so much for the daughter…she does not know why the daughter wants the same man she wants. She said most of her relationships never work out cos of the daughter…either the daughter does not like the men she is dating or men don’t want to date her cos she is a single mother. But she never complained until she met me….

I also agree with the mom…the daughter knows we are not compatible. There is even an age difference of 10 years between me and the daughter. But this girl is being very insistent. She has been calling me in the last few days again…I told the mom…she said ok…if I don’t mind…I can have both of them. I asked her if she is joking….she said no…that I should play along with the daughter….that she will soon get tired of me when she finds another rich young man.

I need your advice, should I take the deal? I have never dated two sisters before not to talk of mom and daughter…it sounds morally wrong to me but the mom says its not a big deal….that she is in love with me whereas….her daughter just wants S** and that as soon as she finds someone else….the daughter will move on. I know some men may jump at this opportunity to sleep with mom and daughter but I am very uncomfortable….

So for now, my relationship with the mom is still a secret….what should I do?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Leave both mum and daughter alone for your own good, concentrate on your relationship,thank you sir.

  2. When will men start thinking with their heads? Don’t you see danger sign everywhere?. Leave both of them alone!!!!!!

  3. This poster sounds very enlightened, but lack the wisdom to handle S.e.xual related concerns. You know it’s morally wrong to sleep with mom and daughter, yet you are giving it a second thought which makes you sound dumb. You have proven to be S.e.xually irresponsible.


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