True Life Story: Why I Was Afraid Of Loosing My Best Friend But That Fear Opened My Eyes
Hi Lively Stones,
I am afraid of the reaction my confession will bring but I feel horrible and confused at the same time, my aim of writing this story is to get some help and advise on how to move forward with my best friend. So, some of you might think I am a bad person because I just cheated on my fiancé but please try to hear my story first and put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Dozie (not real name) is my best friend. We met in 300 level mechanical engineering. We were always in the same class from year one but I never noticed him until I had problems with one of my courses and it was going to be that course that would make me spend an extra year in school.
Dozie was the class rep. I went to meet him cos I was told, he was good at helping people talk to the lecturers, maybe to sort them so they can avoid harassing female student for marks. Meeting Dozie changed my life. He was a good guy, he promised to help me sort the lecturer which he actually did. Then from that semester till I graduated, Dozie was my study partner and we sat close to each other during exams so he could help me. The friendship just grew like that.
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I had a boyfriend who did not mind Dozie being my bestie even if he was a guy. Besides, Dozie was a nerd…always reading…he did not seem to be interested in social life or girlfriends. And I liked him somehow but I had a boyfriend. And that was how I friend zoned Dozie for many years. One day though, one evening in my room, we were studying for a test…and Dozie kissed me…but quickly apologized…we never spoke about that kiss even till we left school. After school, we parted for a year to youth service but we spoke everyday. And then Dozie told me he started noticing girls wanted to sleep with him…I felt jealous but happy for him. Girls love nerds…they are so intelligent and sexy.
And then, I met my fiance….Dennis during after youth service. We dated for a year and his visa to travel came out, so we had to do our marriage introduction before he travelled. It’s been a year since he travelled and he is planning to come back in December for our white wedding. A few months ago, Dozie came to see me after a long time of us not seeing. We hung out the entire day. Before he left, he said there is a girl he is dating and things are serious. I was like, awwn…I must see this girl to approve…he said yes of course.
So last month, Dozie brought this girl to me, we all hung out …went to movies and had dinner later. After that, Dozie asked me what I think of the girl….I gave my honest opinion cos the girl seemed ok…not too fine but she works and looks like a good girl. I told him the girl is ok cos I thought Dozie liked the girl. So, he told me he wanted to plan a surprise proposal for her and he wants me to help him plan it. I excitedly agreed and planned a very romantic proposal which happened two weeks ago.
The proposal made me realize how romantic Dozie is…I mean, I never saw this side of him. I felt really jealous of the girl he proposed to but then, Dozie is like my brother right. But after the proposal, this girl started giving me attitude. First, she refused to hang out with me and she told Dozie to stop hanging out with me because she is not comfortable with the idea of being best friends with opposite gender. That ticked something off for me…I saw she was trying to take away my best friend from me.
I was not cool with that so Dozie suggested me and his girl go out for a date and talk things out like adults because he cannot live without both of us in his life. The date was set up and from the time the girl came, she came ready and prepared to fight. She went straight and said…she noticed Dozie has a crush on me, and that I flirt around Dozie without knowing it. I was shocked and told her she was wrong that Dozie is like a brother and that we have been through alot together.
Well, the date did not exactly go well cos the girl just got up and said, if you like yourself, stay away from my fiancé…cos if you try anything…I will end you. I was so shocked and angry. Like who does she think she is…she just came into his ife but I I have been Dozie’s right hand person for more than five years. So I called Dozie in anger and started blasting the girl and told Dozie that she is a mistake for him.
Dozie agreed that we meet up over the weekend to discuss further. Dozie was at my place on Friday and for the first time, we had a heart to heart talk…Dozie said the girl is right…he has a crush on me but I never gave him a chance, and it hurt him that I friend zoned him. He said he was afraid I would reject him. I swear, Dozie’s confession made me speechless…we talked and talked…and one thing led to another…we slept together and had s3x that night.
The funny is…we told each other that we should not have had s3x because we are both engaged to other people but we spent the entire day in each other’s hands. I realize I am have feelings for my best friend…he too is in love with me and is ready to break off the engagement with his fiancée to be with me. So, here is my confusion: do I love Dozie that much to want to end my engagement and end his engagement or am I being jealous and afraid of loosing my friend if he marries someone else?
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My head is really confused. One thing I know though….I do not want to loose Dozie…that girl cannot tell me to get the f*ck off cos…he is my buddy and he has been the only one who totally gets me and will drop anything he is doing to come get me if I need him. So, yes, s3x clouds judgement…but now…I need to ask myself…is this really love…do I want to be Dozie’s wife or best friend….if he does not marry me…whoever he marries must not come in-between us. Dozie said he is ready to fight for our love if I stop friend zoning me.
As I woke up this morning, I realized I have to make a decision….but I need some advise. Am I making a mistake to sleep with Dozie? I was so scared of loosing him…I realize that I was actually flirting around him cos he said whenever I am around him…..he can’t control himself…all those friendly hugs I gave him…he said he was dying inside him…and making love with him this weekend was his dream come through.
I admit…this weekend was fire…it was magical…but is my mind ready to remove Dozie as friend to lover? Or was it because I have not had s3x in almost a year and I was afraid of loosing my best friend to a selfish girl who wants to take him away from me. I need your advice…my wedding is supposed to be in less than 4 months. Was this God’s way of telling me that the wedding is not going to happen or am I making a mistake….how do I even marry Dennis knowing I slept with someone else….not once….and I loved making love to this guy cos he is my best friend.
How do I explain myself…and what should I do about this complicated situation. Is this the hand of God, maybe opening my eyes to see how I almost lost Dozie…is he like the one I am supposed to be with…he’s been here all this time but I did not notice his feelings until I am about to loose him….huh…God…I am so confused. Kindly share your advice, I will be in the comments section. Thank you.
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