True Life Story: I Have Always Been In Love With My Bestie-Confession Series
Hi Lively Stones,
Thanks for the confession series (click here/, here, here, and here,to read the confession series) that you shared on your blog this past week. I need your advise on my own confession so please keep me anonymous. I am turning 50 years old very soon and I have a secret that has bothering me so much. The situation started more than 25 years ago. I feel as I get older, the urge to come clean to my wife has been getting stronger. I met my wife 25 years ago through my best friend who is her twin Sister. Yes, Mabel and Maggie (not real names) are non identical twins. Maggie was my friend right from University. We became besties cos we were both very active in student unionism.
After we left school, Maggie went into politics. I got into business and married Mabel. Maggie’s twin. Our families were now joined together forever. Anyway, life happened and was fine until Maggie got married to a man that was abusing her for three years. Eventually, she divorced the guy. With no where to go to, she lived with us, me and her sister for almost a year before she got her own place. By this time, me and Mabel already have 3 children, all boys.
Maggie has not been successful in relationships since her divorce. I think men are intimidated by her strong personality but beneath all that toughness is the sweetest soul. At this point, let me confess that I have always had a crush on Maggie but this babe only saw me as friend. She friend zoned me and that is why I never pursued my feelings for her but I got married to her sister instead.
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Through out the relationship issues that Maggie had, I was always her go to confidant. She has cried on my shoulder over many men for many years. I remember one time, she had a heartbreak, she called me and rushed to see me in my office…she was crying and I was comforting her….I then kissed her. It was hard to see her cry. She was surprised that I kissed her..I told her I wished I had married her so she wont be in this predicament. She strongly rebuked me and told me to get my head together cos she will deal with me if I try to mess up her sister.
After that incident, I tried to keep my emotions in check cos I cannot cause problem in the family. Then, when Maggie turned 40, things changed. She told the family that she wanted to adopt a child or conceive a child with a sperm donor cos she is not married and does not want to grow old alone. Everyone in the family supported her. Her mother, my wife ….everyone. So, the journey to get a sperm donor began….she dated random guys guy to sleep with them but she didn’t get pregnant from any of them.
One day…she called me crying…saying can I get her pregnant? I was like…what do you mean….she hung up. I went to see her….she explained that she explained she has given a lot of thought and she wants her baby to be conceived in love…from someone who loves her so much and she believes I am the only one who loves her that much. I asked her what of her sister…my wife…she was like….there is no need to tell Mabel to hurt her…as long as Mabel believes she got pregnant by a sperm donor.
Maggie and I started having s3x, it became so electrical cos I was in love with her. She got pregnant….told the family that she got a sperm donor. Everyone was so happy for her. My wife and family threw her a big baby shower. Ten years ago, Maggie gave birth to my beautiful Adira, my first daughter. That day when she was born….I cried…No one knows but everyday…Adira grows and looks like me every day. She has my nose and eyes. No one suspects because they cannot connect it.
After Adira….Maggie and I have slept together randomly over the years. We feel guilty because of Mabel but its clear that we love each other. And as I watch Adira grow up, I want more and more to let her know that I am her father. But Maggie would never let me. As I approach 50 years of age…I went to confession and the priest said the only way to get restitution is to tell my wife Mabel and I really want to do that…I am tired of hiding my love for Maggie and our daughter but Maggie has threatened that if I say anything or try to break her sister’s ….that she will take my daughter away and will never speak to me again.
Maggie had to get a Lover….a married Politian. Just to create a false boundary between us. People think she is with the man but we still see each other cos we are inseparable. This is a very hard secret to keep. The things we do, so that no one find out. This secret is between me and Maggie and their mother. Yes, 4 years ago, Maggie confessed to her mother. The mother was horrified but she agreed that it was best that we continue to keep this secret from Mabel. Oh God forgive all of us for this sin.
My children with Mabel are grown and are all abroad. Mabel and I are more like friends in the marriage. I know she loves me but I feel like its not fair to her that I am in love with someone else…Mabel may be hurt by my betrayal but maybe she will understand that my heart truly belongs to Maggie….
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What about Adira…why should she believe that her dad is a random sperm donor? Why can’t let her know I am her dad? Everyday I see her…I see the love creation me and her mom made. What is so wrong about this? Why should we have to to keep this secret to my grave. Last year, I had a near stroke incident. I was lucky but I kept thinking…what if I died…is that how my daughter will never know her real dad? Is that how I will keep hiding my feelings for Maggie? You cannot help who you fall in love with. I do not recommend any lady to marry a man that has a female bestie….he must definitely is in love with her…look at me now….
Age is not on my side…as I approach age 50…I keep reflecting…I am no longer a child…what am I scared of? Hurting Mabel? I already did that 10 years ago…I need restitution…I need my Adira…I am sorry I did that but how does hiding it make it hurt less? Will she not be better off knowing the truth? Is it not better that the truth set all of us free? or should I carry this secret to my grave?
Anonymous
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Hello sir i think you should take a personal retreat with God for forgiveness and wisdom on how to reveal this information to your wife…..
Your mother in law already knows which gives you leverage. Try and take your wife on a trip where you prepare for the worst cos it may cost you everything there and then tell the story and ask for forgiveness……i wish you well
This is a tricky situation! Sir, you did wrong! You need to stop seeing your wife’s twin sister! You need to ask God for forgiveness and grace not to go back to your sin! You need to tell your wife! You need to bear the consequences of whatever comes out of it, good or bad!
Do you want to leave your wife for her sister and raise the child? You need to be sure about why you’re telling her, ie. If it’s because you want forgiveness and to mend the relationship or if it’s because you want to move on with her sister.
If you are sure you want to tell her, then know there is no optimum way or time to tell her. And you will need to prepare for her reaction to you telling her. Will she require you to leave the house, probably best to arrange somewhere else to stay for a bit to give her space after you have told her.
You will need to decide if you want to do it together with the sister or on your own.
Then it’s best to sit her down with a drink, probably a strong one. And tell her, tell her when, how, how you feel leave out intimate stuff. Explain it’s not her fault, be contrite. Don’t get sucked down a rabbit hole of comparisons or why’s, if she raises lies you’ve told her, just admit the lies, don’t continue to be secretive.
Don’t raise your voice, don’t try to comfort her, you can’t be the one to break her heart and fix it.
Accept that she’s going to be hurt, angry and give her space. Don’t fold and give her false hope.
In addition, you will create a huge inter-family issue for all concerned. The in-laws will not be happy and the kids will suffer to an extent.
You also have a psychological problem too and an inability to understand the consequences of your actions.
Just man up and tell her how it happened. Take responsibility for your wrongdoing. Apologize and let her vent. Let her talk and you listen. Listen carefully. Be physically and mentally ready to walk away, but let her make that decision. You go with her decision. No fighting and pleading if it is not what you desire. You lost that right.
But don’t think that divorcing and moving out will end all your future problems you’re just about to enter another phase.
Be calm and kind. Try not to apportion blame.
and Good Luck.
Your situation is a very tricky one.
The end part of your writing shows that you are in love with Maggie and not Mabel ,your wife.
The question is, are you going to reveal this truth to be free and have access to your daughter to call her daughter or are you doing this to be with Maggie or bring her home?
You need to be sure of what you want and consequences of your action.
Maggie is selfish and you are self centered.
You hurt her 10 years ago, right but you are still doing the dirty game by still sleeping with Maggie. That’s wickedness.
If your confession is to correct your wrong and truly stick by your wife, then talk it over with your mother in-law and find what best way to do it and afterwards be a committed and loving husband to Mabel.
Maggie won’t be with you. Loving her is a waste of time. I will suggest you teach your heart to be responsible, love and give joy only to the woman you married.
The trouble you will raise, prayerfully ask God for wisdom, help and patient.
When it backfires, don’t use it as an excuse to stay with Maggie and leave Mabel.
You gave her your word to love and cherish, please do not do anything rash.
Also, if you wish not to confess about it to her, I will advice that you write about it and document it for future purpose to be read whenever you are no more. Also, leave Maggie from this day henceforth. You had the opportunity to tell her how you felt and chase her to accept you but no, you didn’t but used Mabel as an escape to remain close to Maggie.
End everything with Maggie and keep documents to reveal your identity to your daughter when it’s appropriate to do so. But, it could be her fate for life.
You acted as a sperm donor. The only bad is you did it with your wife’s sister and you revealed your feelings. Besides, you continued and still want to continue.
Obviously, your writing shows you aren’t remorseful about what you did to your wife rather you are looking for a way to bond with your daughter and remain in Maggie’s life.
I hope I didn’t misunderstand you there.
Be careful. Be wise. Be kind. Be a builder not a destroyer. I hope you ask God for true forgiveness and have a true repentance and never going back to.such act.
I wish you well.
Dear writer,
Obviously, you are married to two sisters.
Maggie threatening running away with your daughter is a facade. She is absolutely a narcissist.
I wonder why you fail to see that the same lady that threatened you and warned you not to mess with her sister is the same that called you to give her baby.
What in the name of manipulation is asking for a baby with love?
She couldn’t find love? So, you sleeping with her isn’t you messing with her sister?
If she was doing something good and ever watched out for her sister, she won’t think of you being the sperm donor.
If she wants, she would have spoken to her sister and you donate it without sexual intercourse.
The evil is she has always wanted you but didn’t see you as capable but the moment you let the cat outt of the bag that you feel the same way and want her desperately, YOU WERE USED.
She won’t stop cos she want a man that loves her and will be committed to her even if that man is her sister’s husband
So disgusting.
You aren’t the only one that needs to come clean to your wife.
Your lover, your mother-in-law and yourself need to do this with the priest around. There should be an arrangement for a therapist to help you and your wife to get cool.
But, obviously, you are better off with Maggie and hurting Mabel with no remorse.
Get Maggie to confess too. If you still want to be with Maggie tell your wife because even if you don’t say it, it’s crystal clear you want to.
I’m unhappy that you and Maggie used Mabel and played on her intelligence and emotions behind her. Oh! She feels you love you but you are there cos Maggie wasn’t available then.
She is available and you want to leave your dear wife and run into her hands.
This is what I say to people, keep away from those you love and couldn’t be with. Yes! Give them a huge distance. Especially the ones that are insane or unpredictable.
I hope people learn to pursue the woman they want till they are old or move on and never look back and hurting others in the process.
Please, by all means ,protect the heart and life of Mabel. This kind of hurt and betrayal kills either slowly or faster.
If she can take it, go ahead or die with this secret and save everyone impending evil. Keep or tell, stay away from Maggie.
Best wishes.
Hmmmmmmmm
If you spill, you’ll lose your daughter, your bestie, your wife, your children and marriage… So the goal of confessing which is to have your daughter is lost + you incure more losses of years of friendship…
The sad part is you’re still intimate with the sisters… I would think that’s the problem you should be trying to solve… How to stop sleeping with two sisters… How to come out of this mess and be faithful in your marriage… You’re getting older, do you want to spend your old age in regrets? The family will hate you, your children will despise you… you’ll end up alone…
I’m thinking since their mom knows, it’s OK… Also the Priest knows, that’s OK too… It’s important that you fix your will and ensure all your children including your daughter is well taken care of… Lastly, you have all boys and they’re grown… I’m thinking, you should begin having intentional time out with the boys and prepare them for knowing they have a sister in their cousin sister…
I hope that after easing them into this knowing and it goes well, it might get easier to tell their mom or you might just let life bring it to her knowing… But what if it all goes south with the boys?
You know how your boys are and probably know the one you can safely share this secret with…
I think this will solve the problem of no one knowing the daughter is your child if and when life happens…
Just think consequences and only deal with what you’re prepared to deal with if things go either way…
I just don’t think you should rub the love story or preference of your bestie in her twin’s face… You should have stayed unmarried if you knew your heart belonged to another…
Peace Egbon✌️
Sir, your goal of confession isn’t sitting on the right stool from my perspective…. Plus this confession is gonna mess many people up big time…
Sad thing is you’re gonna be the biggest looser at the end of the confession…
1. The bestie has power and backing and will disappear with her child. She has a child and political career to protect.
2. The family will hate you for being a terrible in law and destroying their family
3. Mama can die from the confession because she may get implicated…
4. This daughter will hate you for cutting her off her family structure after about a decade of feeling she has no father… She may forgive you as she ages tho… especially if you’ve always been there for her these years as a favorite uncle…
4. The twin bond will deal with you eh… You will stir hatred where love was once strong…
5. What have you taught your sons about family?
Boys think differently but there’ll sure be one of them who will be mummy’s die hard fan… That one may not be able to deal with his emotions in peace… You and his aunt, can’t just hurt his momma like that and he’ll take it cool…
6. You know your wife, so you know what might happen when you unveil this masquerade… What if her emotions get the best of her and she kills you? What if she files for divorce and sends you back to base 0 after 50? What if her body/mind couldn’t take it and she hurts herself?
Are you ready to deal with the likely consequences? The strings of physical, emotional , psychological and filial deaths?
7. You’re 50 already, you might just be preparing yourself for a lonely life and early grave… Because you might become tha plague no one wants to be close to… Is this how you plan your old age? Is this what you want?
If you truly ask God for forgiveness, He’s forgiven you o… Restitution or confession is just to make peace with man… But it has to be with wisdom where appropriate.
You should then stop the abomination and face your family… You need to stop sleeping with two sisters… it’s an abomination except it is acceptable in the culture you’re from or married from…
However you swing, think and prepare for consequences before spilling…
Peace ✌️