True Life Story: First It Was The Father But Now I Can’t Control My Feelings For The Son
Hello Lively Stones,
I need your advise on how to control my feelings. I am the head of Human Resources where I work. I have been in this company for four years running now, I love working in this place, the only problem I have is that my boss, the chairman of the company who is 62 years old has a crush on me. That was around two years ago, I had made a presentation at management meeting and he was very impressed. He invited me to his office and asked me if I was single, I said yes, and before I knew what was happening, he tried to kiss me.
I had to tell him that I cannot kiss him or have anything to do with him cos he is my boss. He is a divorcee, been divorced more than 10 years from what I heard. But he has several women in his life. When I told him I can’t have anything to do with him because of work, he pleaded with me to consider and that if I want, he would transfer me to another branch of the company. He said he feels he has met his life partner. He made several promises, that he will make sure I never regret the decision.
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For some time, he kept insisting and I kept refusing. To a point, I decided to see if things can work with us…I went on few dates with him…and boy, for his age…he seemed so energetic…he wanted s3x all the time but I told him I don’t do s3x until I am sure. Despite all, I was gradually falling for him. Then one day, he sent for me to come to his office…and soon as I entered….he started frisking me, he was hard and very horny…said we should do it on the table…I was very alarmed cos I had said no s3x…but that day, he was like, he could not wait anymore and he was about to force himself on me…not minding that we were in the office.
Sincerely, I had to fight him off completely and I managed to run out of the office. The next day, I had to resign cos I was now concerned that he really wants s3x with me, just like his other girls. When he got my resignation letter, he called me, I refused to answer….so he sent me a long text, apologizing for all….saying I drive him crazy all the time….bla bla bla….he then promised to let me go and that he will no longer chase me and that I don’t have to resign. I was disappointed cos I genuinely was falling for him but I refused to come back for a month until he sent one the directors to beg me and I agreed to come back.
That happened last year. Towards the end of the year, we got news that the chairman wants to go into early retirement and that his son will be taking over. His son, Charles Jnr took over from January 1st this year. Charles Jnr is a total photocopy of his dad…they look alike so much…very handsome and very intelligent. And everyone has been wondering when he will remarry cos he is a widower. His wife died like three years ago from Cancer. He has a daughter that is like six or seven years old.
Since I have been working with Charles Jnr, things have been very good, very professional with him. Sometimes I catch him starring at me but he never gives any indication of anything outside of work. Then in July this year, he told us he was going away for Summer and that he would want to meet with management team before he leaves. After the meeting, he called me back and asked me to sit down. Then he said to me: Ms. Gina, please don’t be offended about what I am about to say but I imagine that you are aware that you are a very attractive lady, I can’t imagine the amount of attention you get from the men working here.
I smiled and said thank you sir. Then Charles Jnr said: I don’t want to have anything inappropriate with you but I like you alot, and I asked around, I have been told you are single….now, I don’t know why a beautiful girl like you is still single but I would like for us to go out sometimes. I am not looking for a causal relationship, I have studied you and I think I would like someone like you for a future partner.
I was dumbfounded cos I actually have a crush on him but I never allowed it show cos of the history I have with his father. What is the issue with this family…first the father, now the son is interested in me? The problem however is,….I cant say I dont like the son because I do. So, when he asked me if I could consider his request to date, I bluntly told him no….and that I do not mix business with pleasure. He quickly apologized and asked me to forget about it. He was so nervous when he was talking….I almost wanted to change my mind. Thereafter he travelled.
Towards the end of August, he returned and since then, we have never spoken about this matter anymore but I have found myself desiring him more and more everyday. Sometimes, he is talking in a meeting…and I cannot concentrate. I like him alot but I am afraid of letting it show because of his father. What will he think if he knows his father almost r*ped me. What will his father say when he finds out that I am dating his son….that is…if I agree to date him….I am 35 years old…yes, I have had alot of attention from men from within and outside my company but the reason I am single is because I have serious trust issues.
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I have had my fair share of relationships but this is the first time I think I am really in love with someone. My last serious relationship lasted five years….it started immediately after my NYSC…I was engaged from when I was 24 to when I was 28. But we broke up, just a few months to our wedding. Since then, every other relationship have not really interested in me. People think a pretty face just needs s3x and money. I have been seeking for a God fearing man who would love me and make me his wife, not side chick or friend with benefits.
Now, Charles Jnr fits the profile very well but his father messed things up for me. Since I turned down Charles Jnr, he has not looked in my direction one bit. And its seriously eating me up. I feel a strong urge to go and explain things to him….maybe he wont mind but I am not sure….sometimes I wonder why I can’t stop my heart from racing just thinking about Junior….could it be the feelings I have for his dad has been messing with my head? But he is very different from his dad….maybe I see in him what I wanted to see in his dad….please advise me….what do you think I should do? Should I tell him how I feel about him….about what happened with his dad….do you think he will still be interested in me or should I just lock in my feelings which is getting harder to suppress day by day?
Last weekend, Charles Jnr invited the entire management team for a dinner night out because we just concluded the company wide audit, so he wanted to appreciate the management team. As we all having a good time, I overheard someone asking Charles Jnr, when is he going to remarry…he smiled and said…when he finds a good woman and he is praying he finds one soon. Through out the outing, he did not even look at me. I realized he was avoiding me at all cost.
Eventually we crossed path and I asked him if he was avoiding me….he said yes…I asked him why….he said…I don’t want my feelings for you to show….soon as he said it….he walked away very fast. I wanted to cry….I am in love with this man…how do I go about this? I
I need your advise.
Anonymous
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Dear poster,you need to be sure that you really like or love him. You also need to deal with your trust issues.
If I may ask,did you have sex with his dad? Or you ain’t giving us the full gist,his dad almost raped you in his office,huh!
Anyways,you have succeeded In sending a good man away all because of what you had with his father. Don’t force anything,kill the feelings you have for him because as you can see ,he is avoiding you and doesn’t want to come close to you anymore.
You love someone,you even have a crush on him, opportunity came for you to express it,he even told you he likes you, then you told him you don’t mix work with relationship,you too do abeg.
Keep working and be professional,he might come around but for now,don’t force anything because if you do,he might just eat and clean mouth, afterall you forced yourself on him.
Women sef,where una suppose do shakara,una no go do. Some men don’t have time for shenanigans,if you say no,they move straight up
Your didn’t tell the full story if all you finally did with his Dad was just going out for meals. If no s.x was involved then it’s much easier. Allow your insecurities go.
It’s not everyday you come across a good man you like so if you like your new boss, tell him you’ll like to tell him something.
Just tell him the truth of what happened without looking like you are putting his dad down but highlighting how you resisted etc. and your desire for a good man and your thoughts that there may be something here, give him sometime and see if he is happy for the past to be behind. If he is don’t jump into bed with him, date, when he marries you, you can consummate your marriage if you both agree to marriage.
If you have had s.x with his dad please don’t lead him on without his knowledge of the past and his willingness to surge on regardless.
All the best
Dear Lady,
I believe you are at a junction where you need to be sincere about what you truly want and what you don’t want.
If you never slept with the old man, I guess you need to approach your new director and ask for a date.
Ensure you open up about what you encounterred with his dad and please do not hide anything.
Open up about your your feelings for him and let him know you are scared of what the dad will think about you and also you are wondering if he won’t come for you when you guys start dating.
Do not hesitate to reach out to clear the air.
I believe you might be missing out from accepting someone you share mutual feelings with.
Pray about this and if fully convinced then reach out to him immediately. Be ready for any outcome but please be patient through it.
But, if you feel this would affect your job and position in their hearts, then lock your feelings and throw away the keys and face your work. Don’t feel bad if he marries another person.
I hope you get it right.
All the best.
Study the book of RUTH in the bible….
Naomi gave RUTH the technicality to toss Boaz…
The bible is a complete book
I can tell its not love at all, it is infatuation. Take a few moments and think if its love, you will see its just infatuation.
Forget about him sister, seek other men outside work.
I wish you well.
U are lying