True Life Story: How I Have Found Happiness After My Wife’s Betrayal
Good evening madam Lively Stones,
Thank you for sharing my story and thank you to the group for all the advise.(Click here to read initial story). I just want to give you an update on what has been happening since I shared my story with the group. Well, things have really changed between me and my wife. After she refused to abort the baby, I stopped talking to her. I told her I needed tome to seek advise and think on my next steps. Yes, I love her but she put me in a very difficult position.
Like most people said, the trust was gone. I became very sad even after a month that she sent me a text that she had a miscarriage. I was not even moved because at this point, how do I know she is telling the truth after all, I am not living with her. The pregnancy was almost 6 months….did she really miscarry? She also stopped calling only time she calls, she calls my mother to ask about the children.
All these challenges affected my work. I became emotionally unstable because of too much thinking. My close colleagues were supportive, always encouraging me not to think too much about how my wife behaved. But the loan matter too was a big problem. I could not even eat well. My colleague, a young corper started taking it upon herself to buy me food every day so I can at least eat once a day.
Then one day, I gave 2 of my colleagues a ride home after work. We were gisting and somehow the gist entered women who cheat on husbands who have been good to them. At some point, the male colleague dropped off and the corper and I continued gisting as I drove. She then said many girls like her are praying to have a good husband like me. I laughed but she said I should stop killing myself about how my ungrateful wife betrayed ma and focus on living a happy life.
When I got to her bus stop, she said she wont get down. That she will follow me home to make sure I am ok. That she wants to take care of me. I argued with her that it was not necessary and she said, stop being a fool..that is why your wife is taking advantage of you….she asked me when was the last time I had S**….before I could respond…she out her hand on my manhood and said…be a man and stop suffering yourself….now lets go to your house.
I have never cheated on any woman in my life: wife or girlfriend but I drove off with this lady to my place and we had S**. And for the first time in a long time. I was very happy. Maybe it was the S** but I felt alive again. I have been seeing this lady for weeks now. I think I am beginning to learn to forget the pain my wife caused me because of this. I feel like a man. This girl respects me, she loves me, she takes care of me.
For the first time, I have found the courage to say that I want to divorce my wife. Its not my fault…I have been patient and no man can say I did not try. I forgave her when she cheated…I still accepted her when she got pregnant but when she refused to abort the child, my whole world shattered. I opened up to my mother about everything. She did not even know I was going through all these.
My mother has met this young woman in my life. They met last weekend. My mom like that she is well brought up and well behaved. She is very nice to my children. So after that, I sent my wife an email that I have decided to move on with my life. She can move on with hers since that is what she wants. My wife has since been begging. Calling and texting. I have refused to take her call because if I do, she might convince me to change my mind.
My wife has pleaded with me and my mom to give her till March next year, to return and make things right. I reminded her of how I begged her to come home and do the abortion but she refused….so there is no need to come home anymore. She should only send money to help offset the loan and we both can move on. She said if I divorce her, she will not help me pay the loan.
That is my predicament and I need your advise. Should I pretend to agree not to divorce so she can help pay the loan back or just dump her and manage to pay the loan by myself. If I agree to wait until the loan is paid, then she must not know of my relationship with this lady. How do I do that to this lovely young woman who has been kind and loving to me? How do I keep our relationship a secret when she clearly wants to be with me and marry me? Or do you think my wife will really change and come back to her senses? Is there any small hope for our marriage to work while she is abroad doing only what God knows?
The loan is still quite something. It will take another 13 months to pay back. What should I do please? I have never been so happy in my life for sometime…I really love this girl and I would like to keep her. Her service is ending by this September. I want to propose to her. I know its just been barely a month we started seeing but she has turned my life around….I feel like I now have a reason to live after all.
Please advise…how should I go about this matter.
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