True Life Story: I Am Crazy In Love With My Baby Mama But Is Love Enough?
Hi Lively Stones,
I am a 27 year old young man, I work in a Advertising consulting company. Three years ago, I met Sara by coincidence. Sara like most young people came to Lagos for greener pastures after her university education. She is a Mass Comm graduate but she is also a singer. Sara had come all the way from Akwa Ibom to find producers who will help her music career.
The day Sara came to Lagos, the friend she planned to stay with, switched off her phone and so Sara could not reach her and she had no where to go to. So she called my flat mate, who is her distant relative. My flat mate spoke to me and I agreed that Sara can come stay with us until she finds her friend or gets her own place. So Sara came to live with me and Moses, my flat mate in our 2 bedroom apartment.
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Sara is a very beautiful, lively and friendly girl. Also very talented. She became like our 3rd flat mate….she was cooking and hanging around with us, while she was hustling to blow on her music career. Sara and I got real close after a while….not like we defined what we have but we both were catching feelings…the Sara got pregnant. When she told me, I was shocked because I believed she was on contraceptives.
I was very shocked too because I was not thinking of being a father anytime soon. But Sara was crying and very upset that her music career is over. She wanted to abort the baby but I told her I am a Christian and I don’t believe in Abortion. Sara told me she ws in love with me, that she sees me as the kind of man that she will like to settle down with in future but we both are not ready to have children.
From what Sara said, she has no one to help her as her parents are divorced since she was a baby…shes from a polygamous family and no one gives a sh*t about her. So, I called my mom and told her everything. I begged my mom to help us. My mom agreed. With my mom’s help, Sara and I decided to have the baby. My daughter was born almost 9 months later. I fell in love with my Sarafina immediately I set eyes on her the day she was born. I do not regret ever keeping the pregnancy after all.
So, our baby Sarafina, as beautiful as her mom…. had to stay with my mom cos Sara was getting singing gigs. And before I knew it, she was doing back up singing for popular artists….sometimes, she would be at the club doing shows. I did not really like her lifestyle but I am a man that believes that women should be encouraged to pursue any dreams/ambitions they have in life. Many times, I saw less and less of Sara.
At this time, I started seeing someone else cos I was missing Sara too much. I did not see Sara for almost one year. I moved into my own 3 bedroom apartment and one day, Sara called me that she was around and needed to see me. I had to tell her that I have moved and I have a girlfriend. She started crying and saying I abandoned her after impregnating her. I reminded her that she was the one who went away to chase her career…we are not married or in a relationship cos I don’t know how to do long distance relationship.
Somehow, Sara found my place and came unexpected. She came and fought my girlfriend. I was very upset but Sara refused to leave and said she told me the only reason she had a baby with me was because she thought we were going to spend our lives together. Sara knows I have a soft spot for her. I actually broke up with my girlfriend cos of Sara. She was around for a while and we got engaged. I feel like I can never get over Sara once she is around me.
When I engaged Sara, my former room mate, Moses contacted me and told me to be very careful with Sara because he feels she is using me. That Sara is not what she portrays. He told me that he and Sara had S** after she had a baby with me. Sara told him that she only had a baby for me cos I begged her to ….that we are not dating or planning to marry…so Moses f*cked Sara. He said he later found out that Sara was sleeping with her producer.
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I don’t know what I expected….for someone who is so crazy about her music career…she is willing to do anything to make it….meanwhile…she wants a husband material like me, to tie down. I confronted Sara…she did not deny that she slept with Moses or her producer but she said….we were not in any committed relationship and she was hustling at the time. But now, she is ready to settle down with me. Sara wants us to get married at the end of the year. I love her….
I want my daughter to be raised in a family where the mom and dad are together but Sara is testing me seriously. She said she is ready to settle down but is she really? Her career is going ok but she is still not a big star yet….what if she becomes huge…will she take our marriage and myself and her daughter seriously? My mother loves Sarafina…but she needs a real mother…not just her grand ma….can Sara be that kind of mother? I don’t want to regret my decision.
They say love conquers all and Sara says she is ready to settle down, that she has contacts in the industry now, she is no longer desperate like before….so, will our love for each other keep our relationship? Will Sara’s career be an issue in future? I know many female artists who are married….so will mine be any different? Or should I be sleeping with one eye open on this matter?
Anonymous
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These are the questions I would ask myself.
Why did Sara indulge in S.e.xual inter course with your friend? What was the benefit she derived from that?
Why didn’t Sara keep in touch for 1 year, if you were relevant in her life?
If she is desperate to have S.e.x for success, what is the tendency that she would not conduct the act for a greater success?
I wouldn’t settle for her, failed marriage is more depressing than a failed relationship. Let Sara go with dream chasing while you settle for someone who has dignity and wouldn’t trade S.e.x for fame.
I’ll go straight to the point and be honest with you.
Sara is not focused and not ready to be that kind of woman you so desire.
If you don’t want to regret your actions please free her.
If you love her you should keep room for disappointments. A seed of cheating and testing other man is difficulty to overcome. She will always compare you to Moses,producer and many others you do not know. The decision is yours though,but it’s risky
Dear poster, I’m not sure you can cope with Sara.
Her way of life,her career and the rest of it. She can decide to disappear again in marriage,so what will you do? What if her career becomes so demanding,will you cope?
I wouldn’t say you shouldn’t love her but think of the risk involved. Choose wisely between a homely woman and woman wey her eye still dey outside.
Peace
The reason why I don’t pity men like you, is you will experience something so terrible from a woman and still be asking what should I do?
A lady slept with your friend and her producer several times, she left for one year without reach, you discovered she was with you just to have baby. Who told you it’s only these two men she has been sleeping with? I laugh at you bro.
Men like you act like women are your live. You are a simp. Men like you don’t learn, you worship women, you act silly for women. It clearly shows in your write up, you even said, you don’t think you can get over her when she is around you. You are an effiminate man, a mangina, a weak man, a pussified man.
You see an irresponsible woman, but men like you choose to follow such women. I pray in some months or years time, you won’t post on social media seeking advice again.
I wish you well.
✌