True Life Story: In Love With The Man Who Abused Me And Begged Me To Cover It Up
Hello Lively Stones,
A fried of mine sent me your flier about dealing with childhood trauma in relationships. I am seriously in problem with my past trauma. Can you believe that I can’t get over a man who abused me many year ago? About eight years ago, I had just completed my OND and needed a place to do my IT placement. My god mother was able to get me a place with one of her friends who is a a legal secretary to her husband’s company. The lady took me in as as her PA. She was a very beautiful, smart and intelligent lady. I felt so fortunate to learn from her. And before long, she actually trained me to an extent that I could do business presentations for her and her husband.
One day, we were supposed to travel to Abuja for a business meeting. All was set, I had booked the flights and hotels but my madam suddenly fell ill. I had to travel with her husband and his own PA. When we got to Abuja, we did the business presentation and all was great. As we were having dinner, my boss’s husband was praising my skills and saying I remind him of when his wife was very young and very smart and eager.
After dinner, I went back to my room but I was told by the receptionist that my hotel reservation was cancelled. I thought it was a mistake but they asked me to speak to my boss husband. When I did, he was like, he was the one that cancelled the booking since his wife is not around, that it was a waste to have a double suit to himself, so I should stay in one of the rooms in the suit. I agreed, never thinking anything about it. So, I went to get my things and move into the room.
I was in the shower when I noticed that someone was entering my room. I tried to find out who and saw my boss husband grabbing my waist and before I could say please please dont…he pinned me down and r*ped me. I cried and cried and begged and begged but he had his way with me. After everything, he started begging but I was just crying. The next day, we flew back to Lagos. I was so scared of telling my family but before I got home, my madam called me and told me that her husband confessed what happened to her and that it was a mistake and begged me not to tell anyone.
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The madam said her husband was very very sorry….and that they have decided to pay for my HND program if I promise not to say anything. I agreed. The man truly begged me for forgiveness and said he felt so ashamed of himself. I finished my IT there in peace, tried my best to avoid the man all through. They truly paid for my HND. My parents were very grateful for the sponsorship. When the time came for my NYSC, I was looking for where to serve and my former colleagues in that same company asked me to come back and serve there.
To me, I was happy to do so but I was told that my former madam had left the country with her children. They now stay permanently in Canada. I felt somehow but I needed a good paying job so I agreed to come do my NYSC there but in a department that is not close to the office of the MD. So, I started working but someone went to tell the MD that I was back in the company and so he sent for me. I refused to go see him until one day, I saw him walk into our department and he called me out to follow him.
We got to his office and he was very upset that I came back without coming to greet him. We chatted for some minutes and as I was about to leave, he hugged me. I started to shake. He smiled and said this time, I am not going to chase you…but you will come looking for me until you cant breathe without me. I never understood what he meant but from that day, I started having naughty thoughts of me and the MD fcking…he was rping me but I was enjoying it.
One day, after close of work, he called me and asked what I was doing, I said nothing. He said, come over. I said where and he said he will text the address. We met up in one of his short lets. He did not ask me, but I kissed him first. Ever since, I have been having an affair with the MD. He has a mastectomy and so I cannot get pregnant. And I believe that is why his wife is not bothered to leave her husband alone back in Naija. Oh God…help me….I cannot control myself around him. I sometimes ask him what he did to me, and he says, he is the only man that I will ever love.
Do you think I am under juju? Is this man using me? Why can’t I control my sexual urges around him? I am afraid to tell anyone around me cos I don’t know who will believe me. He even told me that what happened years ago in Abuja was because I begged him to rpe me. I don’t know but I am beginning to believe him cos these days, I actully beg him to rpe me during s3x. I know what we are doing is wrong but I am the one who can’t stop seeing him. He says things like, he owns me. One day I asked him if he will marry me, he laughed and said no. That no man will marry me, that I am made for his satisfaction alone.
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On the surface, I have all that I want and need. I already have been offered a job as a manager in the company, I lived permanently in one of the apartments he bought. Alot of people envy me and want to be in my position. I am enjoying the materialistic things of life but how long will I be this man’s s3x slave? You need to see the way he talks to me, he commands me to suck his dck when in the car or in the office. He humiliates me with BDSM, calls me slut, one time, he pooed on me and fcked me with poo on my body….he’s always choking and handcuffing me during s3x and I should h$te him for it but I love every bit of it. I am ashamed of what my life has become. When will I be able to break free of his hold on me? I love him…I have strong lust for him but I want a better life, marriage and children….how do I break free?
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