True Life Story: My Baby Daddy Cheated & Tried To Apologize With A Proposal
Dear Lively Stones,
Two years ago, I got pregnant for my on and off boyfriend. I was already 33. Abortion was a scary thought because I was like, I am getting old. What if I have complications from the abortion. Kelvin and I were very much in love but we were just dating like 9 months. When I told him about the pregnancy, he was like, what do I want to do about it? I asked him about marriage plans and he said he is not looking to get married yet. Maybe because he is actually younger than me.
Kelvin was 28 when we met. He said age did not matter but he was not ready to get married. So, after a long hard thinking, I decided to keep the pregnancy. I told myself, I would raise the child and maybe Kelvin would somehow make up his mind when he sees the child. Kelvin supported me during the pregnancy until I gave birth. It was my secret prayer that God would touch him and we could get married because we are best of friends and love each other but I think Kelvin is scared of commitment.
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Though I never caught him red handed…I suspected he was seeing other women. And the guy sef used to like alot of girls pictures on Instagram. Well, he has not promised marriage so I tried to keep my peace. On his 30th birthday, I threw him a party and it was lit. It was the talk of the town. Kelvin was so surprised himself. When he was giving his speech at the party, he said hes very grateful to have such a loyal person like me in his life and he hopes one day to be the man I ever dreamed of having as life partner.
Later, I asked him what he meant by that and he was like; lets see what the future holds. So, to me, even though he never mentioned marriage….he was giving me hope in his actions. As part of his birthday gifts, I scheduled a romantic get away in a five star hotel. I also planned a couples massage session. When we both went to the massage session, it was so worth it, we couldn’t wait to get back to the room to make love. We had a mad session and we both slept off.
I later woke up like an hour later and discovered Kelvin was not in bed. I looked around and didn’t see him in the room…I checked the toilet and noticed the toilet door was locked from inside….and on closer observation…I was hearing suppressed moans coming from inside the toilet. Who was inside…I became paranoid…did Kelvin lock himself inside to watch p*rn or what? Maybe he was masturbating…so I thought o…but I thought we had a great time…I had several orgasms and he came too. What is going on?
I waited for like 20 minutes…I pretended to go back to sleep cos I did not want Kelvin to know that I saw him masturbating in the toilet. But alas, when the door opened….kelvin was peeping to make sure I was still asleep….cos the next thing I was was…he tried to sneak a girl out of the toilet past the bed….I quicky jumped up and grabbed the girl….and it turned out to be the girl that carried out that couples massage on my husband earlier before.
It dawned on me that Kelvin was not masturbating…he was f*cking the girl inside the toilet of our romantic get away room. I slapped the girl and pounced on her to beat her…Kelvin quickly separated her and pushed her away from me…while holding my hands. I got so mad…I began to cry and throw things at Kelvin…he was asking me to calm down. Later, I asked him why…was I not enough for him? Kelvin said he was sorry but he was so horny for the girl when she was massaging him and she offered happy endings as private service.
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They tried to get a private room but all the rooms were booked, so he sneaked her into our room. I was so mad at him that I told him since he does not want to marry me or respect me, that we should break up cos I am done waiting to be treated like a wife. I cried myself to sleep the remaining evening. The next day I checked out of the hotel in anger. Kelvin tried to call me for days but I refused to see him. I was too heartbroken and pained.
About two weeks later. My sister invited me to come to dinner with her. She said she wanted me to get out of the house and stop moping about Kelvin. So I went with her to a restaurant to eat. On getting to the restaurant, it was a trick cos I walked into a surprise proposal that Kelvin had arranged with my friends and family. I was shocked and started crying. Everyone was shouting say yes…say yes…and so I said yes.
And that is how we became engaged. But in my heart, I am not settled. I think Kelvin proposed to me because I caught him with that girl. I feel he is not done cheating. I don’t know if I can handle another cheating episode. So, I asked him if he ready to commit to a monogamous relationship…one that I will not be dealing with side chicks and co. His response was alarming. Kelvin responded that it is not possible for any man to be monogamous as God did not create a man to be monogamous.
We argued for hours but he said he will try to respect our union but that I should not expect him to be a perfect man. Hmmmm…..this is the situation …..I am worried….will I be able to ignore his flaws if he cheats? He is a good man, a wonderful father and I love him to death. Everyone says Kelvin is a hot catch…women always throw themselves at him….and hes younger than me….That I should close my eyes to all that distractions as long as he makes me his wife. But don’t you think he may use that against me later in life? All these small girls may try to convince him that I am too old for him right?
I wonder if he truly wanted to marry me…maybe because I caught him cheating….maybe he has realized that I am someone he does not want to loose…and if I am being honest, I am also scared of loosing Kelvin. I don’t know how to start all over with another person if we break up…I love him so much…he’s the father of my child….is this worth compromising for? Please if you were in my shoes…what will you do?
Anonymous
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Dear poster,give it sometime. Take away your mind from Kelvin and be busy.
Kelvin is not ready for marriage, he’s not ready to be committed to you, he’s very promiscuous. Are you ready to deal with such a man?
The choice is yours
WISE UP
KELVIN IS NOT A GOOD MAN HE MIGHT STILL CONTINUE WITH HIS ATTITUDE
Be wathful
Hats off for not committing abortion.
To your story, can anyone really advise you? You are madly in love .
He has been honest with you. He cannot guarantee you faithfulness.
You saw what happened the last time, you will most likely feel that pain again and again, sadly you cannot tell how many more times that would happen.
Girls will continue throwing themselves at him, he can’t promise you he will resist them.
Each time he cheats you will remember you are older etc. Do you know what that can do to your mental health?
Are you ready to be the one chasing after a man to stay faithful?
If you can cope with all this plus the possible risk to one’s health from having multiple partners if careless then by all means go ahead.
The position you have placed yourself will make it difficult for you to accept any advice contrary to your state of mind towards Kelvin. Your “love” for him has your mind distorted.
Why would someone walk into a marriage with a man who has declared “hoha” to you that he will be promiscuous? A man who has blatantly told you that his manhood is a national cake.
Marriage is not a do or die affair dear, especially with that kind of specie of a man.
Kelvin doesn’t value you. If he does, he wouldn’t look elsewhere.
If you don’t want to live the rest of your life, enduring instead of enjoying your marriage, leave him.
Ask God for a man who befits you, who will love and value you, and trust me, God will.
Stop having sex with a man that is not your husband, sex is ONLY for marriage.
This massage session is nonsense, so a woman will massage a man and the man won’t feel anything or a man will massage a woman, and the woman will not feel anything, I don’t know why people love deceits.
Leave Kevin alone, both of you are fornicators and are destroying your souls.
Moreso, he will never be faithful in marriage. He sees you as a mumu woman, he knows you love him so much, so he is capitalizing on that and you keep making it easy for him.
Dump him and your next relationship should be free of fornication.
I wish you well.
Kelvin like most guys wants to eat their cake and have it. My dear if you can’t cope with cheating them leave him alone because he will cheat, he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He wants to have a family but still have the freedom to sleep with other ladies
If you decide to leave him you also must take your mind off him because you will meet other people that will love and cherish you however, you can’t be comparing them with Kelvin and you can’t get jealous when you see kelvin with other girls too