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True Life Story: My Baby Daddy Promised Marriage But Nothing Is Happening


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True Life Story: My Baby Daddy Promised Marriage But Nothing Is Happening

Hello Lively Stones,

I want to share my story because I need advise on what to do with my baby daddy. It’s a long story though but I will try my best to shorten it . I met Paul(not real name) April 2020 , he was talking marriage with me, he told me he had a wife and wanted me for a second wife I agreed we started courting he sign me to learn two different types of trade which I learned all in the period of a year .

I come from a polygamous family and when my father died we came together to sell his only house and share the money , by that time everybody had to find their way so me and my bf put head together to get a spacious apartment since we re getting married Afterall he has taken me to meet his first wife and all was set so I got pregnant while leaning the second trade and we both agreed to keep it .

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Paul  had issues in his business so I lend him the sum of 300k to solve the issues, he spent the money anyhow and could not give account. So someone in his office told me that am the sixth person having a child for him I could not believe my ears so I confronted him and he admitted it I was shocked but it’s too late because I was already 3 months gone already so I requested for the money I lend him in so doing I nag , fight him and threaten him .

Paul  paid 230k and I had to forget the remaining 170k cos the baby had come by that time. When I had my child he did not come home for seven months but was sending money even though his workplace is just 15 minutes drive to the house and the first wife house is a hour. He will rather go there cos she too had a baby by that time I had mine also
He neglect me and my child for that seven months to be with the other woman.

I complained bitterly to everyone I know , his family and they were not saying anything tangible even though he is already preparing for my marriage rites .it’s a year now and I can count how many times he slept in this house, he doesn’t care so I told him to get me an apartment let me move on with my life since this is not marriage I forgot to add he brought his gf to stay with me in the house for 3 months.

Right now he has totally abandoned me in this house and not coming at all , so I threatened him by dropping my child for him in his office and he takes my child to the other woman it took him 3 days to return the child to me and calling off the relationship that he is not interested.

Now am pained, hurt and bitter and full with resentment am not expecting much from him since I know am the sixth person having a child for him but y lead me on wen u know u will drop me like this . Now am a single mom of one and he is somewhere having happy family, he post pictures of the other woman and her kids and that only makes me go crazy . When we went to a prophet he said he is under jazz by the other woman how true is that. though he is sending upkeep for my child regularly but not for me cos we re no longer together
Am just looking for how to revenge on him . After making me after 1 then he goes living happily ever after .

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Even my child did not know him because he was never there for him but the other woman kids know him very well . I find it hard to forgive him and move on , this not the type of family I planned for my child, a single parenthood no fatherly love and care . I pity myself most times for falling victim of this kind of person.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster,you have to deal with the mess you have gotten yourself into.

    You knew he was married and you agreed to become his second wife right,no wahala.

    You have learnt two trade right,this is the time for you to make good use of the things you’ve learnt and leave Paul alone, afterall you are not the only woman that has a child for him, you’re about six women,so get busy and stop being worried about an irresponsible man.


  2. Dear poster, I think you forget about this Paul and move on with your life… Just set up a business for yourself from the trade you learnt and concentrate on your child and yourself….Forget Revenge and leave everything for God to handle.. Accept it as fate though it hurts but you will heal with time. Be patience God will make you happy again.

  3. My dear forget about him and vengeance bcuz is of the lord. Go on with your life, start up a business since you have been trained, concentrate on yourself and baby the good Lord will surely send you a better man who will value you

  4. Dear writer,

    The ordeal has been done.

    The young man was open about his status. He never told you he doesn’t want the other woman anymore rather he wants to take you as second wife.

    He had a mission and only who accepts he will accomplish it with.

    You accepted but was carried away. You should have allowed him to finish the traditional rites before taking in for him.

    Desperation leads to regrets and pity. It’s wise to hold on longer and get things done properly than acting faster and impatient over anything.

    Well, as long as he is responsible for his child, that’s okay.

    Throw away bitterness, thoughts of revenge and unforgiveness. Yes, it will do you alot of good to forgive him. The arms of flesh will fail you but a total trust in God makes you forgive who fails on their promise because only God keeps His word.

    More bitterness, more loss, no distractions and more stagnation in your life. Let go.

    Here are a few things to do;

    Guide your heart and mouth so you don’t say what will affect your baby in the future. The blood connection is there already.

    Change your thought pattern and take up a business or skill to become better and earn your own money.
    Use the skills you’ve learnt and be a blessing to your child.

    Focus on your baby and your future. Allow yourself to heal by letting go of the hurt through meditation, new network and engagement with activities that makes you happy.

    Stop discussing anything about your experience. See therapy and counseling to be at your best for the new you about to emerge.

    Turn the anger to energy for the things that needs your time and strength.

    Stop running to his family. Let no member of his family know what you are thinking, doing or feeling.

    All the best.


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