True Life Story: My Boss Promise To Reward Me If I Accept To Marry His Daughter But I Love My Wife
Happy Weekend Lively Stones,
Please I need your advise. I am 39 years old married man with a son. I love my wife of ten years. I worked as a Driver for my oga, an oyinbp expatriate for 15 years. When he retired, he settled me some money which I used to buy my Okada to start Okada business. But my wife did not understand that Okada business is not as lucrative as when I was a Chief personal driver. My wife who is a full time house wife complained bitterly when I could not keep up the flashy life style she was used to.
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Later, my wife began to disrespect me, calling me an infidel cos I could not provide for my family like before. I later had an issue with the okada, the government seized my okada. Things became very difficult. My senior brother advised me to come back to village and farm so I can see how I can feed my family. It was a tough decision but I eventually decided to go back to the village to start family.
I am from Kogi (not real place) my family is into farming. When I told my wife, she refused to follow me back home. So I left her in Lagos. She was living by herself…I dont know how she was surviving. She said her church people are helping her but I suspect she was following men around cos she is lazy and cannot even do petty trading to sustain herself. When the rent expired, she sent our son to join me in the village while she claimed to be living with a church member, someone I dont even know.
Back here in the village, I have settled into farm life and things are really hard but last year, I got a job to work as Farm manager in one of the big farms in my village. I did the job so well, I was in charge of all the farm workers. The owner was very happy. The owner called me and asked me if I would marry his first daughter, who is like 40 years but she has not seen husband to marry her.
I told him I am still married but during last Christmas, this daughter of his came from Benin where she lives and we met. She is not very pretty but she is nice. We got talking and became friends. Now, she is trying to return back to the village to join me to manage her father’s farms. She likes me alot and she wants me. Every opportunity, she wants to sleep with me and I have been without a woman for a year, I could not fight her away. Yet, my heart is stuck cos I haven’t heard from my wife in Lagos….does this mean my marriage is over?
Anytime I call my wife, she will not pick or when she calls, she will be in a hurry or busy, saying she got a saloon assistant job. How busy is that job? I told my wife in January to return home by month end or consider the marriage over. As we speak, she still did not return. Should I send her parents message that I am no longer marrying? I still love my wife but she has refused to follow me. The reason she is refusing is because she thinks being a farmer is crude and poor.
My wife says I should come back to Lagos to find a new Driver job but I am tired of being a Driver…I like being a Farm Manager better. This my boss daughter is getting too clingy to me…she wants me so badly, she has promised me a good life cos she is the first daughter, she will inherit her father’s many farms which are like over 300 acres in total. Infact, people already think we are lovers. And she wants to get pregnant for me. But I don’t love her like I love my wife. But since the one I love does not want me as a farmer? Should I be with the one who wants me the way I am?
My boss has been promising to reward me if I marry the daughter. My life could change economically, maybe then I can go back to my wife when things are better. So, should I just marry my boss daughter as a second wife? I don’t think she will mind but I wont be able to love her like my wife. My wife is my only love, she may be stubborn but she is the wife that I fell in love with.
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Please advise me…I see an opportunity before me but I am scared of what the future might hold…what if my wife finds out about this second wife….she will not be happy….and she may even leave me…but even now, she is not with me…I feel jealous thinking she is with another man in Lagos. I can’t get over my wife but this my boss daughter may be a saving grace. My people want me to send my wife away, they feel this my boss daughter is my destiny to a better life but I still love my wife and my son who is just 9 years keeps asking about his mom.
Is my wife worth all my love? I have not caught her red handed but I know she is sleeping with men…and she wants nothing to do with farm life….what do I do? Please tell me how to go about this whole thing. I am confused.
Anonymous
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Dear Poster,
What do you really want?
I’m sure when you married your wife, you were aware she is a lazy woman. You allowed her to be a full time house wife and you gave her all she wanted. Do you think a natural lazy woman will suddenly change to be a peasant farmer?
She was with you because you had the good life to offer her then.
So, if you love her, first go and see your in-laws and tell them what their daughter has been doing and you are about to walk away since she won’t even listen to you.
They can invite her, and you go with your family and hear what the elders have to say.
If she says she isn’t interested anymore, then free yourself and find a new life.
But, bear in mind that your Boss daughter is a stranger. You must know her better, values, character and all?
Will she control you cos she has the wealth tomorrow? Do you mind being a manager of our in-laws? Will they respect you tomorrow when you settle with the daughter? Can she bear children or they are covering something?
Make your findings and be sure that your decision isn’t just out of pity and selfishness.
End one before jumping into another because if your wedding was legally signed in court, you will be in trouble.
Avoid her becoming pregnant for you. If she wants you desperately, she should love you enough to allow you do things well.
I know you can walk away from your boss daughter, learn a profitable skill and continue with your wife. Your family can assist you to learn tailoring and other skills.
If you love your wife, have a better conversation with her and find what works for you guys.
My issue with you wife is she is self-centred. She cares about her comfort more. If you come to Lagos, will she assist till you pick up? When you pick up, will she support in the wellbeing of every member of the family? Will she be supportive?
If you don’t have a stable job to return to Lagos to do, then stay in your village.
If your boss cares and respects you, then he should allow you be a man and handle your life in such a way you won’t have more issue tomorrow.
Even him forcing you to marry the daughter might see you as a bad fellow tomorrow.
Take the appropriate measures towards this issue. Both ladies are good and have clauses too. I hope you don’t attach immediate or projected gain as the major reason to marry or leave one of the women?
Build your life, career and thrive to be s better person.
All the best.
Best comment pls follow her advice dear poster