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True Life Story: My Husband Wants Us To Try New Things To Save Our Marriage


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True Life Story: My Husband Wants Us To Try New Things To Save Our Marriage

Hi Lively Stones,

I hope this is a judgement free zone? I am not proud of what I have to say but I want to share for advice and my heart is beating fast. I have been married for 21 years now. My husband and I have three children who are all young adults in the Canada now. I also shuttle Canada and Nigeria. About five to say eight years now, our marriage has not been very stable. I first noticed about 10 years ago, that our S** life was no longer as it used to be. From S.e.x once a week, it became once or twice in a month.

At first, I thought it was because we were both very busy with our lives, trying to relocate the kids to Canada, trying to build our business here in Naija, to be able to fund the lifestyle we have created for ourselves. I suspected my husband was cheating so I confronted him. He denied it several times. I decided to let it be until one day I caught him and his secretary right handed in his office.

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We were both in a very dark space at that time, I separated from him for a couple of weeks but I reasoned that I cannot let infidelity ruin my marriage, I decided to come back. I asked my husband to promise me never to cheat again ….he said he will try. My husband told me that he’s just having S**….but he will never love any other woman but me. But he has found out that he is not S.e.xually attracted to me like before….so he goes outside just for S** but he will never betray me by marrying another woman or even getting her pregnant.

So, I gave it a long hard thought…I told him to write his will and make sure everything we own go to me and my children alone. We agreed that if he mistakenly gets another woman pregnant, nothing will come out of his will for that child or the woman. He agreed and signed it. the will also says if I get pregnant for another man, I too will have nothing from this will. I made a weird peace in my heart….at least, I know that no outside woman will come and steal what I worked hard for with my husband over many years. That was about 8 years now. We are like having an arranged marriage.

For me, I used vibrator to satisfy myself since my husband was no longer interested in me. Sometimes, maybe once in 3 months, me and hubby still f*ck but he must use condom. About a year ago, I met Zic. He is a very tall and dark and handsome man. I met him through a business conference, he is a single father of a 14 year old boy. We started secretly seeing each other. Eventually my husband found out but he was not upset because our marriage is really now like a business relationship.

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We both respect each other’s private life. I celebrated my 45th birthday last month, hubby gave me a one week vacation at Seychelles (not real location). I invited Zic to come along cos there was no way I was going to be alone on a romantic vacation by myself. Unknown to me, hubby planned to surprise visit me too on the vacation. You can imagine the surprise to have hubby and Zic on the same vacation.

Zic was embarrassed but hubby was like…its ok….he didnt know I was coming with Zic so he will leave next day. But I convinced hubby to stay and try to enjoy himself. I did not know how I will manage both men on this vacation but I was planning to enjoy myself either way. It was then that hubby was like, he would like to watch Zic fck me…he said the thought of another man fcking me would really turn him on. I refused but he kept persisting, so I asked Zic.

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Zic found it amusing but agreed to it. It was awkward for me but hubby planned it….he rented a massive suit and invited us to come over. The men shook hands….you would never believe one man was my legally married husband, father of my kids while the other was my lover. We had drinks to relax and hubby asked Zic to do his thing so he can watch us. Zic happily obliged….I think I was the only one shaking but Zic and hubby were excited.

One thing led to another….we were getting it on…Zic then invited hubby to come join us. The sight may be the most immoral act of my life but the most exciting thing I ever done. Both men were all over me like hungry lions. I dont think I can explain how we ended up spending the entire vacation together. We felt like young teenagers…alive and energized. Hubby invited Zic to come to the house anytime. In my head….so this man wants to be having threesome in our house now?

When we got back to Nigeria….hubby was all over me…our S** life that was dead for almost a decade was revived…he wanted me everyday…and he kept asking when is Zic coming over. I told him I don’t want to have a threesome with him and my lover yet my husband is begging me to. What could be the next thing he will ask me to do, will be maybe have S** with him and another woman? As much as its exciting….I don’t want to continue this threesome thing. I can never watch another woman have S** with my husband…I would rather they do it on their own.

True Life Story: My Husband Wants Us To Try New Things To Save Our Marriage

The only thing is, its like, this threesome might be the thing that may revive my dead marriage? Is this really worth it? I know my marriage is no longer a conventional kind of marriage still….I prefer to keep our affairs private….Zic suspects that hubby is biS.e.xual and he is asking me to be careful even though he does not mind much (Zic is a free minded person, he never wants to get married…he is happy as a single dad) but hubby says this might save our marriage after all….that he is feeling very excited again and he is in love with me again….he says that trying new things can help revive marriages…is he right?

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If I consider doing this, do you think maybe hubby will one day decide to focus on only me and our marriage again?. I mean, if its to save our marriage we are doing this…can we really save this marriage of ever becoming normal again? Yes, me and hubby are having a great S** life now….can we sustain that without threesomes? Also, do you think hubby is a s2x addict? Cos, its like its only S** that will reconcile us back? Please advice me.

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Keep your marital life private,stop the threesome and make your marriage work please.

    Twenty one years of marriage is no child’s play,stop seeing Zic and think of ways to satisfy your husband.

    I wish you luck in all you do

  2. How people do evil things and still ask if what they are doing is evil baffles me.

    You know the truth but have refused to do it.

  3. 38 is happening, it’s no longer 10 is happening 21 years of marriage Devil is a liar. First thing first, stop seeing zic and work on your marriage, take your husband along prayerfully and fastingfully work on yourself abegiiii


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