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True Life Story: My Past Is Filled With Wild Mistakes-How Will My Confession Help My Relationship?

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True Life Story: My Past Is Filled With Wild Mistakes-How Will My Confession Help My Relationship?

Hi Lively Stones,

I read your blog sometimes and wonder why people advice your poster to always tell the truth or confess when there has been mistakes of the past or an issue about indiscretion. I really wonder if the truth will save anyone in such predicaments? Will confession help my relationship?  Have you people thought about what will happen when the truth comes out? Especially when the truth affects people you love, your family? Yesterday, people advised a man to confess to his wife that that his ex is trying to come for him (click here to read yesterday’s story)  …..if that man confesses, do you know what he will loose? His marriage, his wealth and scandal to his family?

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I think we all made mistakes in the past and I believe what is in the past should remain in the past.  If we all confess what we did in the past, we will never learn to move forward and live peacefully…people will constantly judge us for our past. Just like me, am sure if I tell you my story, you will all judge me. So, let me prove what I am saying; here is my story: I am the seventh son in a family of seven boys. Growing up in a house of only boys was wild.

Our teenage years was wild. There was always girls. It did not help that all my brothers were very handsome and being from a wealthy home, we had cars by the time all of us were like 14 years. A handsome boy and a car is all you need to get a girl to open her legs. I got disvirgined at age 9 by one of my elder brother’s girlfriend. We were by ourselves cos our parents were too busy with their series of many businesses…we were boys, so no one thought we needed too much attention, we had nannies for that.

By the time I was in university, I was a heart breaker. Every girl wanted to sleep with me. Even my brothers girls cos I was the finest of my brothers. There was just something about the Evans last boy, that is me. I shared a room with my immediate elder brother in his final year. He had a steady girlfriend, Jasmine. My brother was truly in love with her, she is half cast. Jaz used to treat me nice, always advising me to leave girls and focus.

Well, one time, she and my brother had a fight, they broke up and I tried to check in on her, one thing led to another, we had s3x and even when she and my brother later reconciled, she could not stay away. It was a very dangerous affair but she finally realized why girls couldn’t stay away from me. Eventually, they both graduated and Jaz went to America. That was how we stopped.

A couple of years later, Jasmine married my brother in America. Today, both of us don’t speak. My family thinks its because she does not like me cos I am a stubborn boy but she asked me not to speak to her cos she feels guilty every time she looks at me. We also avoid each other because the attraction is still very much there…If we were ever to find the opportunity, there is no telling that something would not happen. Do you think we should tell my brother or our family? Will that help anyone right now?

Many years later, I started working in my parents company, I met a hot lady, their ICT manager Ruth. With her help, I was able to start my multi million company. She is wone of my directors now. She is married but we were f*cking for two straight years before I met her niece, who was posted to the company as a youth corper. Me and Ruth’s niece (Daisy) started dating and we have been together for three years. This girl is a good girl. Ruth has refused to leave me alone even though she knows I love her niece. She told me to leave her niece cos of our arrangement but I couldn’t.

Daisy has been asking me when are we getting married…I love her, she is a wife material that  I would like to get married to her but she does not like anal s3x. That is why Ruth and I can’t stop seeing each other. Ruth loves anal, she’s the best I have ever had in anal. I love all kinds of s3x, especially anal…but Daisy does not …she is a good girl…missionary or doggy is what she does… everyone wants me to marry Daisy cos they say she is the most decent girl they have ever seen with me. I am also scared of loosing Daisy.

So yes, I am getting married hopefully by the end of this year. I am planning a surprise engagement by the way, on my girl’s birthday in September. So back to my point, sometimes, people do crazy stuff in the past. My past is filled with alot of s3xual excitement. Getting married to someone who is not as adventurous as me scares me but also loosing her scares me cos I have met many girls, she is the only one who is not after me for just s3x or money.

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What if I never find someone like her again? She is like what Chioma is to Davido. Davido knows she’s a good one…a keeper…he is trying to do right by her but he’s a man that has picked up habits from his past…he can’t just start pretending to be a saint. So this is my story. I am no saint…but my past is my past…I cannot deny all the things I did. My past is what shapes my life but does not mean I love my girl any less. But confessing that I am f*cking her Auntie will do me no good….I know some of you are judging me. Its ok…but I confess, what good will it do?

Wil Daisy not leave me? Will I not put Ruth’s marriage and career at risk? If I confess about Jasmine and I….what will happen to her marriage to my brother? What will my family think? Please advise me…I am not trying to be arrogant…I really would like to be a better person…maybe I need psychological intervention. I am a 32 year old man, how do I stop loving the lifestyle I have know for more than 20 years of my life, so I can be good enough for my Daisy? I am so scared of the possibility of Daisy finding out one day but I can’t think about that for now…or should I?

Finally and before I forget, I have had countless threesomes, will do I also need to confess that? Even if I am able to stay away from Ruth, will that be enough? Or should I still need to tell Daisy I had something with her Aunt? I admit, I am getting older, I am not as careless as I was, I am trying to be a good guy but I am not perfect yet…The Ruth situation is complicated cos she is one of my trusted business partners, if I do anything risqué, it might affect my business…She helped me get to where I am today, I can’t just end my relationship with her just like that….maybe as time goes on…cos its just s3x with her….Ruth loves her husband….she’s just a lady who likes adventurous s3x.

So, if you believe I should confess….what good will that do to anyone?  Will the truth really set me free or destroy everything and everyone I love?

 

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. They are some secrets that are best left unsaid. We all have our rough paths while growing up struggling with youthful exuberance even as an adults having adventurous intimacy with colleagues, coursemates , neighbors & church members perse but we got redeemed by our sincere opt to live for someone special ( Jesus’) & our wife to be. You don’t need to confess to anyone but Christ is longing to get hold of your heart for a reposition lifestyle. Though it is not easy to be responsible but by his Grace, Mercy & looking upon him for strength will do you good. God bless you handsome son of God. Your new girl deserves the best out of you. Cheers to new beginning.

  2. Of course you’re addicted – you’re 32 and in the prime of your life! To put it mildly, your girlfriend aunt has completely overstepped the mark.

    She’s so wrapped up in the excitement of her new boobs and attracting a young guy, that she’s conveniently forgotten you might probably become her in-law soon!

    Even though you’re not related, stop and think for a moment how upset your mum and family would be more also Ruth is even married this will be a big disgrace if you finally get exposed.

    Please stay away from Ruth and focus on your love Diasy because this can lead to nothing but trouble, regret and heartache.

    It’ll destroy your family and possibly even your relationship with Diasy all you need is focus.

    I hope you’re mature enough to think, “It’s been great, let’s leave it at that”.

    Don’t think this fling can be anything other than sex. For Ruth, you’re just a little bit on the side while she tries out her new-found freedom –

    Be wise you also need a family and a new home with a good woman to find happiness you can’t continue this lifestyle grow up man be more responsible stop shiting around real men don’t fall for any pussy man up and take a stand now let this nonsense stop

    Or else who the gods wants to kill he will first make them run mad my 2 cent advice to you.

  3. So many of us have a rough and bad past. But what makes the difference is the decision to leave the old life and embrace the new without carrying the benefits and privileges of the past to the present.

    If you are willing and obedient you will eat the good of the land. Tell your past to Jesus, He knows but wants you to confess and forsake them and you will need the help of a sanctified man of God.

    This habit is not easy to break so you need spiritual help but the question is are you ready to do it for yourself sanity and soul not just to please or be a better fellow for someone?

    Remember we will all stand before God to receive the reward of our deeds on earth.

    Don’t face eternity without Christ

    Shalom

  4. Hmm….

    Eleyi gidi gan

    Let Jas story be… I hope you’ve not ever told it to anyone…

    As for Ruth story, you need to talk to her about it and stop it for the sake of your future… Also begin to work on getting stronger on those forts she’s holding strong, so you’d not go down if she decides to act bitchy n bitter… But you need to stop the sex with her…

    Next, please don’t propose nor engage Daisy… Not now biko…
    You need to do a lot of work on yourself first… Don’t marry her because you don’t want to loose her when you know you’ll cheat on her because of your fantasies… Better to let her go and work on freeing yourself from Ruth’s claws…

    You also need to cure your addictions… It may not be your fault how this started but you’ve come of age now and must take responsibility for your life choices…

    If Daisy is willing to wait while you go thru healing your sexual orientation to accommodate her, then it’s her choice… Just let her know you have sexual addictions you’re dealing with and you don’t want to hurt nor change her sexual limits…

    Work on yourself… You can’t continue like this… Chroma knows who Davido is long before she decided to stay with him but Daisy doesn’t know who you are… she doesn’t know your struggles with her not being enough for you… You need not tell her you’re doing stuffs with her aunt but you need to be sincere with yourself and do what you need to do for you, if you want to have a happy marriage…

    Please don’t engage that innocent lady biko… Do not drag her into this mess… It will scatter in your face before you know it… And with Ruth’s present position in your business, you might not be able to deal with the boomerang except you’ve thoroughly prepared for outcomes…
    How do you even do intimate stuffs with relatives? Hmmm

    I do not judge you but please get help and work on being a better person for a Daisy kind when next they come your way…
    Shalom

  5. Dear Poster,

    The incidence you sited isn’t completely related to your story. I’m sure if you look at what is before the youngman, you will understand that telling his truth immediately the ex showed up especially with the knowledge of her personality would have been helpful.

    Telling the truth is relative and different methods could be applied depending on the personalities involved in the case. Iean who they are and how they understand things.

    In your case, I will begin with you.

    What happened to you as a teenager and most part of your twenty’s were things you didn’t control cos you knew no better way and felt helpless and open-minded to explore. Maybe, you felt like a king Solomon for the women after you.

    But, habits are things we developed like in building a house. If we don’t see it as befitting, we demolish and rebuild. Does it cost alot? Yes.

    It cost money, time, energy and even other things.

    You have the role to rebuild yourself, your mindset, your outlook of sex and life.
    When you begin to change to a more responsible man in charge of his emotions, relationships and life in total, you will be unpredictable but respected and productive.

    David and Chioma were friends and she knew all about his lifestyle to the letter. She chose to stay beyond all because she knows and understands her man in and out than outsiders that see a bit per time.

    Your Daisy deserves to know this sexual part of your life present and past without mentioning names. Tell her it’s still a part you are working on to conquer and share your progress on it. Let her know you care about her a lot and don’t wish to hurt her cos you may demand more from her or cheat at the early stage as you still struggle hence you wish to deal with it completely before settling down.

    She will respect you for it. It will hurt but you guys love will win eventually.

    Please, don’t keep this secret cos you fear that you will loose her. Be afraid to loose her and loose your mind when the shit between you and Ruth blows up.

    Someone knows and I’m sure you are aware. That person may want to save Daisy and tell her your secret.

    Ruth is married for Christ sake. You must upgrade and learn as a person what she uses as a key to your continuous sexual activities.

    You know you can stay without anañ and even end anal sex cos your Daisy isn’t comfortabñe with it then focus on what she gives and exploring others she will be comfortabñe with for your peace of mind and love.

    Kindly set a time and cut Ruth off before the marriage. Do not make your conversation text or voice note based. Speak one and one and ensure you let her know your stand towards her niece.

    She is selfish to keep you as her sex mate, business colleague ( sex is why she is in that business with you) and acting holy married woman at home yet denying you an opportunity to be with the person you love.

    You must turn a new leaf. It begins in your spirit man. God is the one that gives us capacity to kill and be dead to sin, bad habits and deadly acts.
    If you will give your heart to Christ and live for Him alone, he will help you.

    He forgives completely. Only Him can help you even in what to do about everything in life including how to get rid of Ruth.

    For your sister in-law, kill what you feel and desire for her. When you are completely renewed, ensure you still keep off but relate like blood siblings and let the past be in the past.

    Not every past is for telling especially when solutions are placed there. Your sister in-law told you off and doesn’t communicate that’s exactly what we are asking the youngman to do. His option is to tell the wife who is being turned to something else which would be used against her.

    The same way your sister in-law told you off and insisted though married to your brother is how Ruth should be cut off from you and her niece.

    I hope you be swift in doing today what will save your marriage and happiness today and always.

    All the best.

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