True Life Story: My Wife Is Playing Dangerous Games & I Am Sick Of It
Dear Lively Stones,
This issue is directed at women, especially married women. My wife needs your advise. My Wife Is Playing Dangerous Games & I Am Sick Of It .My wife, I love her with my life but she is a very stubborn woman. We dated for almost two years before we got married. We both have demanding careers but we somehow managed to have a beautiful relationship that eventually led to marriage. But to my shock, after marriage, my wife has changed completely.
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The changes in my wife include the fact that she is very stubborn and refuses to submit to me especially when it comes to s3x. My wife is always working and complaining about tiredness when it comes to s3x. Its only when it comes to her ovulation period, when she wants us to make a baby that she allows me touch her for s3x. As a man, I have needs s3xually. Our s3x life for a less than one year married couple is once a week…can you imagine?
How can a newly wedded couple have s3x only once a week cos the woman is always tired. She got promoted after our wedding and since then, there is no day that my wife comes home earlier than 9.30pm. Most times its around 10pm or 11pm that my wife gets home. At first, I was playing the understanding husband but konji has finished me. I wake up with a hard on, my wife cant even pity me…she says she is tired and running late for work. Do you know ho painful it is to have a hard on without release?
I continued to be understanding husband but one day, I came up with an idea…to seduce her and leave her hanging so she will know how it feels. So during her ovulation, when she tries to make a move at me for s3x, I tell her am tired. Sometimes, I start foreplay with her and when she is ready for action, I just give up and tell her am tired. This really made her upset…she started using emotional blackmail. She will start crying and saying I am insensitive. But when I tell her that is exactly what she does to me, she says its not the same things.
I have done this tactics for three months. I no longer ask my wife doe s3x….I have left her alone….hoping she will come to her senses. So she started begging me for s3x..now, I was happy and we go into it…before I could say jack…she started saying she is tired…that its paining her…that I should stop. I was flabbergasted. Like what is going on here….only for me to notice a smile on her face…and she said….its payback. I was so upset that I almost considered r*ping her. But I kept my cool. I started thinking of a way of getting vengeance.
The only thought that came to my mind was…to go outside and cheat on my wife. Soon as that thought came to me, I shuddered. I became very afraid that I might actually do it. So, I called my wife and told her that these games must stop otherwise I might cheat on her. Instead of this woman to understand my point of view,…she started throwing tantrums and accusing me of cheating …she said for even thinking about cheating…I have already cheated…she started quoting bible to support her point.
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Now, we dont even sleep in the same room anymore…she is mad upset at me…and I am mad upset at her. Which kind of attitude is this? Do I have to go through this just to have s3x with my wife? I am not the type to go and talk to family members about our issues….the marriage is too young for this kind of challenges….please I need married women to help me explain why my wife is acting like she is dumb or possessed…cos if she is not dumb…she would not say thinking of cheating is cheating….
And if she is not possessed…why will she deny me …her legitimate husband s3x…I don’t get it at all…You mean I should kneel down and beg her for s3x? Where did I miss this? I need advise….just because I love her does not give her the right to manipulate me emotionally….I am getting really frustrated….this was not how its was before marriage…why is she doing this? I just want to make love to my wife…please help me.
Anonymous
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You need to be more matured about your approach to this issue and stop the childish game. You must have a concrete arrangement to meet each other’s sexually needs.
First both of you need to understand that marriage is a commitment of life time partnership. Just as you are committed to whatever work or business you do, even when you are tired, you still ensure things are going on well. Your wife can’t always claim she is tired but she is not tired at work only when it comes to sex. Something is off, it is either you as the man is not hitting the right spot to make her desire you more or she is just not into you. Sex between couple helps to relax the stress and tension and build a lasting bond. The more you have sex together the better it gets over time.
I think both of you especially your wife didn’t have such orientation about sex, so you as the man must loving teach her or go to therapy.
Work is not an excuse for not desiring your husband especially for a young marriage like this. So when children come that means no more sex. Man you need to resolve this crucial issue fast.
A good sexual relationship starts outside of the bedroom, and unfortunately, many men don’t seem to realize that. Sex is more than mechanics, especially for a woman. She needs love, non-sexual touching outside of the bedroom, and respect. She has to truly DESIRE you and feel emotionally connected. She does not want to feel like a tool for your pleasure. She wants to feel like she is cherished both in and out of the bedroom. This is when she will stop being “lazy” in bed -when your focus is on her rather than yourself.
It’s possible that she is merely using that as an excuse, and if that is the case, you have other problems to solve. Does your wife work ? Does she have children to take care of ? Family to take care of ? All of these could contribute to her being so tired. Remember, men like sex for sex, but women like to be emotionally involved. If she is tied or worn out when you try to initiate sex she won’t be able to be emotionally involved and therefore may reject you- saying that she is indeed tired. Find ways to take some of the stress and work out of her life. Give her time to mentally recover to be in the mood for sex, and then take your time, pamper her, become emotionally involved with her and the sex will probably return.
If you feel confident that “I’m tired” is just an excuse, then it’s time to talk it out. “Have a conversation with your her from a calm, compassionate, and curious place — not blaming or accusatory,”Be curious about her: ask her about their experience, what’s it like for her, what she might want or need from you to have sex. Try to understand your woman. Then, tell her how you feel being in your position, what it feels like to be rejected, and what you want and need. Be understanding and also stand in your own truth. Best wishes brother
If you wife is a typical modern women she is far too busy and is not getting enough sleep. That’s enough to put most women off of sex.
Just spoil and pamper her a little she won’t reject you all the time, women value care and love especially from their spouse