True Life Story: Please Advise-Is It Ok To Date A Polygamous Man?
Dear Lively Stones,
I need your advise. I am dating a polygamous man. Last year, the person I was squatting with, asked me leave her apartment. Apparently, I was inconveniencing her and her boyfriend who was beginning to eye me, her friend. I had raised like 450k and I thought I would be able to find a one bedroom self contain. But I was wrong. The cheapest one bedroom was over 600k in Ajah. I was getting stranded. I started moving from one friend to another.
Never miss a story — subscribe to Lively Stones Relationship Blog PUSH NOTIFICATION for daily Post to stay up-to-date on the best of what LIVELY STONES has to offer, from juicy celebrity relationship news, romantic articles to compelling true life stories.
That was how I met Dapo. Dapo is the son of the landlord where I finally settled in. The agent had taken me to see the place and the total cost of everything was going to be 550k. He told me to go see the Landlord’s son to beg him, that he is very understanding. But in truth, the landlord’s son was a womanizer…and soon as I begged him…he asked…what will I do for him in return. I was desperate…I told him, I would repay him in cash or kind. He laughed and said he will accept in kind.
So, he only collected my 450k and he started asking for s3x soon as I moved in. At first, I was not into it but Dapo is nice and he treated me very well. I almost began to fall in love with him until I discovered that he is married, early this year. He lied that its just a baby mama but I later discovered that he has done introduction for the girl. I became uninterested in the relationship but Dapo refused to let me go, so I have been avoiding him as much as I can…I come home very late and I find somewhere to go during the weekends so he cant find me at home.
So in order to get my attention by force, Dapo has increased the house rent to N1M annually. My rent is due by the end of April this year and he has issued a quit notice if I cannot pay the rent. I am seriously panicking cos I cannot pay that sum. Last month, I met someone that has been toasting me but I have been avoiding giving him a definite answer. But now that I am frustrated…I had to tell him my problem hoping he would help me with some money but instead, he said I should move in with him.
This is so devastating for me. No man wants to help you if it does not involve s3x with them. My monthly salary is about N185k per month. Before I take out transport and feeding…I barely have anything else. I have reached out to my family members for help and I was able to gather N200k alone. I have another like almost N300k…but that is not up to N1M that I need for my new house rent. So here I am, in-between the devil and the deep blue sea. What should I do? Should I continue to sleep with Dapo or move in with a guy that I have not known for more than a month?
More From Lively Stones
- Polygamous Marriage Is A Scam-My Husband Treats Me Worse Than A Baby Mama-Pls Advise
- True Life Story: My Baby Daddy Promised Marriage But Nothing Is Happening
The money I have cannot even get me a new place if I decide to leave Dapo’s place. I am really beginning to think I have no option than to continue with Dapo until I can find my feet properly. Besides, Dapo said his religion allows him marry up to 4 wives…so I should not be worried about his wife so much. Is that really ok since his religion allows him many women? Should I still feel bad about being with a married man or about to be married man? I don’t want to marry him of course…I can never see myself being in a polygamous home…so is it ok to date but not marry a polygamous man instead?
Please don’t judge me. I don’t know what else to do.
Anonymous
Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at [email protected] or Whatsapp +2348029870309
Share This
Dear poster,
Why do you want to date a polygamous man? Why do you place value on that which is not?
The man already has a perverse & pervert mindset. He sees women has only a sex object and nothing more. You hold on value in his eyes. That’s why he asked you what you will give him.
See my dear, to be great doesn’t come cheap. There are a lot of sacrifices to be made in order to become great. It’s not compulsory you live in N1m apartment while your earnings is below 200. There’s no wisdom in that.
Get an accommodation you can afford & leave dapo alone. What if he impregnate you, what will you do?
I perceive you don’t value yourself either. But hear me now, you are a woman of substance & dignity. Don’t throw your pearl before swine. Keep & maintain your dignity because with man, impossibilities abounds.
Turn to God and let him help you.
Shalom.
Play along till you find your feet
You actually put yourself in the situation you are now. You told a man that you will pay in cash or kind. You gave him an open invitation.
Another guy you haven’t even started anything with, you told him you have accommodation issue and of course, he invites you to come live with him. And you are considering it?
Ritual killers and the like are not spirits you know?
There’s nothing like being between the devil and the deep blue sea. You cannot be earning a salary of 185k and you want to live in an apartment of 1m. That is self inflicted headache.
You need to firstly kill that mindset that you must sleep with any man to get help.
You need to have self esteem for yourself. Have faith in yourself. Believe you can help yourself.
Don’t you have female friends? Like religious friends? Friends you have rapport with?
Ask to be accommodated for some time. Just enough time to get the money you need for your own apartment.
Look for apartment in cheaper areas in Ajah. There are areas you can get apartment for less than the amount you mentioned.
Ask for God’s grace and you will pull through.
Can u not find a place that within ur means? Is it all the areas in Lagos that’s that expensive? If the area u want to leave is not up to what u can afford, it’s either u look a roommate or look for a place u can afford n safe urself the stress of becoming a sex slave to someone who will just be sleeping with no intention of wanting to have anything serious to with u,or even going to marry u in the future.
My advice o