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True Life Story: Why I Chose To Become A Second Wife Over Instead Of A Side Chick


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True Life Story: Why I Chose To Become A Second Wife Over Instead Of A Side Chick

Dear Lively Stones,

Why do people marry; is it for love? What if the person you are married to, is in love with someone else? I need your advice. I was 22 years old when I met Jeremiah. This guy met me at a function and took an interest in me. He was all over me and wanted me to be his wife. I was a bit taken about his very direct way. I mean, we only just met, we have not even dated for even up to a month yet you want to marry me. The second thing I had an issue with was the age difference between us.

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Jeremiah was 37. I felt he was too old but he does really look that old cos he is very cool in his behaviour and character. The third reason I did not marry Jeremiah was because he also said he does not believe in one man one woman marriage…I listened to bad advice from my friends, that I should not marry someone so much older than me, someone who may marry and bring in a second wife in future. So I told him I cant marry him. He was heartbroken cos he really liked me but he respected my wish. Four months later, I saw his wedding pictures. I was surprised. I chatted him out of curiosity: to know how long he dated his bride to be before this marriage?

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From his response, Jeremiah met this lady for only 3 weeks and and they are getting married. Immediately, I felt a pain of jealousy. I realized I was in love with him but I wished him a happy married life. He asked me if I was reconsidering his proposal cos he can cancel the wedding immediately…I told him that would be too painful for the girl involved. The day of his wedding, I cried and cried. The lady he was even marrying was not a fine girl, she looked like she was suffering. All through the wedding and marriage, I kept seeing Jeremiah and his wife posting their pictures until she even got pregnant.

This lady began to look fine cos of course, money was touching her skin. I swear, I regretted rejecting Jeremiah’s proposal. But I let it go. On my birthday, Jeremiah sent me a message to wish me happy birthday. I was so touched that he even remembered. I told him thank you and then apologized for not accepting his proposal. He was like, he is still in love with me…I told him I am in love with him too.

And that was it, we started talking….feelings started to increase….we talked everyday. Confessing love for each other. Jeremiah was like, he wants to marry me as second wife if I can agree….I was over joyed….very happily, I said yes. I would not have ever accepted to be anyone’s second wife in this life but I have truly found the love of my life.So, Jeremiah is planning to come see my parents. We are getting married as soon as possible.

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Then all of a sudden, I started receiving messages from unknown nos. These nos have been sending me threatening messages to leave Jeremiah or I will be murdered. The nos, once I call them, are switched off. Its like five different nos have been messaging me, but when I try to reach out to the nos, they are always switched off or they ring and they never pick up.

The type of messages I am getting is making me suspect they are from Jeremiah’s wife. The messages made reference to husband snatcher, home breaker, etc. I got so scared and angry. I told Jeremiah, he said I should forget about it. But I am worried….the messages are really scary…clearly, the message is to scare me away from marrying J but he said its not his wife cos his wife knows that he was in love with me when they met….and when we started talking…he told his wife that he is planning to marry me and she did not raise any objection.

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So if she did not raise any objection, who then is behind these messages? I have suggested to Jeremiah that we should arrange for me and his wife to meet…so we can discuss woman to woman but she refused…saying she does not want to see me and that since we would not be living in the same roof….there is no need for our paths to cross…yes, Jeremiah is getting a place for us, where he will spend time with us and then go over to the other house and also spend time with the first wife.

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This is the reason I feel the wife is not happy and she is the one sending those messages. To be honest, I am not worried about the messages but this woman was aware her husband was in love with me when she married him…why will she be upset that he is now marrying me? Its not like he is divorcing her….if I ask him to divorce her…he will…why is she threatening me? If I keep getting these messages, maybe I should ask Jeremiah to send her away…he already told me that if I want, he can divorce her….I said no need…at least, she has a child for him and she married him, so let her enjoy the marriage too.

Despite all I have done, this woman still sending me these threats….should I tell Jeremiah to send her away? By right, I am supposed to be the first wife….I never snatched her husband…he is in love with me…he already told her that several times and she accepted him knowing that he is in love with someone else….she knows Jeremiah’s heart is with me…he has told her that several times, he showed me texts where he did, from when they were dating and she always replied, its ok….she even said, she was ok if I was a side chick cos she understands, that she has been in that position before.

The problem is that, maybe she prefer me as side chick….but I Jeremiah wants marriage…its not in my hands…and we are in love….Jeremiah always told anyone he sated that he believes in African kind of marriage which is polygamy. If this woman is going to be a threat…should Jeremiah send her away now or should we ignore her?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You are clearly very naive.
    Which woman will be happy that her husband wants to marry another wife?
    Why are you marrying Jeremiah now. Is he now younger? You are the problem in this situation. You should have just let him be since you had all the opportunity in the world and you didn’t use it.
    I won’t advise you get married to him except you are interested in wahala all your life.
    If the wife is not willing to see you doesn’t it tell you a whole lot

  2. There’s a lie Jeremiah is keeping from you. The two of you may not be the only one he is married to. Try and arrange a meeting with the wife and find out if all that he ever told you is true.
    Don’t ignore all these treats coming to you cos he knows who is sending it. Keep those treats as an evidence for the future cos u gonna need them.
    If he has family members and close friends you know try and ask them things about him.
    You may not be the only one he is going to marry in future cos he is polygamous in nature hope you can cope with that.

  3. Jeremiah will still date another woman in one month and marry her as the third wife,my question is,are you ready to accept third and fourth wife?

    Dear poster, you’re indeed a home breaker and a husband snatcher,I never said so, Jeremiah’s wife did, therefore leave Jeremiah alone.

    Look for your man so that your life will not be in danger,those threats are not empty threats,be careful. Watch your back!

  4. If you marry Him, He will still marry another person, you got interested because you think you missed marriage. What you don’t know is God saved you. Do you know that the more partners a man has the higher the risk of transmitting an incurable disease to you?

    It is sweet now, the euphoria of getting married. You are only 22, why do this to yourself?

    I’m not sure of your beliefs but if you are a Christian, you are acting like a home breaker. Why should he send his legit wife away? Will you ever have peace if you master mind it. It is not your position, if indeed he is not also married to someone else that is the wife God recognises and you are the strange woman.

    My sincere advice to you if you would listen is to leave this man, focus and let your own man to whom you will be only wife come.

    This love will soon turn into something else. Indeed which woman will be happy to share her husband. She didn’t want to meet you. Wise up. Leave them alone and stop looking at their pictures, don’t covert what is not yours, not all that glitters is gold.

    I hope you listen. If you do. You will be grateful in future.


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