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I came to Lagos last week to cool off because I need to make a very important decision that could make or end my marriage of 10 years.
My husbandand I have never really lived together for the most part of our marriage. He works on the rig. I met him as a worker on the rig. We were introduced by his sister.
He said he wanted to marry me the first time we met. He wanted to settle down and start a family cos his life has always been about his career on the rig.
So even after marriage, he spent more of his time on the rig than with me and the children. He provided for everything we needed. I stayed at home to raise the children.
Only two years ago, I started to sell jewelry and make-up just to keep myself busy. Through out our marriage, I have visited him on the rig twice.
I cannot say that my husband is a righteous man cos I know the kind of job he does. It not uncommon for oil workers to have women flock around them.
Last month,I missed him so much,so I decided to go see him. He was happy to see me. I was ready to have a s*xy time with my husband. That was my plan. And we did have a great time together.
The next day, someone knocked on our door and I opened it to a young man who said he was looking for my husband. I asked him to come in,my husband introduced him as a contractor friend.
I offered to go get some fresh fish to make pepper soup while he chatted with his friend. I had gone a few blocks when I realized I had not taken my atm card.
I hurried back to my husband’s place and because I was in a hurry,I opened the door without knocking. And saw a very disturbing image of my husband and his Contractor friend…the friend had knelt down and was s*cking my husband’s manhood.
I stopped dead in my tracks shouting Jesus……they both turned and looked at me like they say a demon. The guy left and my husband pulled up his trouser and kept quiet
Yes,he kept quiet while I was busy asking him why? And he never said a word. I would not have been so shocked if I ran into him with another woman…but a man?
All the questions I asked him,he didnt answer any one. Are you gay?Or is this an accident? A mistake?…why are you doing this to me,to us,to our family…he was just mute. I almost cried myself to death.
I left the next morning…still no word from my husband..no apology..no explanation. I just feel like I am in a dream. Maybe I didnt see right…
I waited for his call..he never called me for a whole week after. He called and asked to speak to his children. It was like I never even existed.
I called him two weeks later and demanded he tell me what is going on or I quit the marriage. He was like,you can quit if you like…I don’t owe you any explanation..but you cannot leave with my kids or any of my property.
Darn him…so he will not explain or apologize and he expects everything to back to normal? I have contemplated on so many things to do but none have made sense to me.
I thought of telling his sister…he didn’t care when I told him I would tell the while world…I fear if I told anyone,I would be so embarrassed and that would even mean the end of our marriage .
I don’t know what to do…I am in Lagos to see my family. They are all shocked. Some want me to file for divorce. .some want me to be patient and pray for my husband to come to his senses. ..that he is under an evil influence of homos*xuality.
I am at a very difficult point of my life…I do not know what to do. Even if I leave…starting all over after 10 years…its going to be hard cos everything I have,my husband gave me…and he says I will not leave with any of his properties.
What should I do?
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Please remain in that marriage and continue to pray for that young man,it is for better or best.So tell me ,where do you want to leave to with your children?This is the time to seek the face of God on behalf of your husband,stop thinking of divorce biko.Anything can change in the course of marriage,so you have to deal with it by praying to God
Babes remain there ooo,it’s a habit that has to be broken and you can help him by praying for him..and stop telling people because people have lots of issues they are dealing with if they don’t tell you,you won’t know please stand by him and always pray for him.marriage is support.
Pray to God and will answer your prayer, never leave dat marriage plz,,, seek ua pastor’s advice & prayers
Hello Madam,
Its clear, you may not know your husband as much as you should.
And I think its divine that his secret lifestyle has been revealed to you.
Its not an accident because he did not waste time to do the act just few minutes after you left the house. Maybe his intention was to get quick action before you returned.
And like you said…you always known he is not been an entirely faithful man…so there you have it..your suspicions confirmed.
Being with a man or woman is as bad…both are cheating…so if you are ok with him cheating with a woman,you should be ok with him cheating with a man.
And he is not sorry for doing that…neither is he offering any explanation or remorse for his actions.
He even dares you to leave him without anything.
Advice: stay in the marriage and continue living like an ostrich….pretending not to know the type of man you married.
Or
You can decide you cannot live with someone who cheats on you. He either gets professional help or you walk.
Be a better parent and example for your children and for yourself.
You do not have anything to start life afresh if you leave…so start planning an exit strategy.
Pray,save money,start real business or get a job. Become independent. Raise your kids. Ignore your husband’s foolishness and just only pray for him.
Be strong…this is not a great situation but you can turn it around in your favor.
Take it easy…you do not have to take a decision immediately…involve his family and yours and in the end…do what is best for you and your children to live a safe and happy life in the end.\
God bless