True Life Story: Help- Stop My Friend From Marrying The Biggest Mistake Of Her Life
Dear Lively Stones,
This advise is for my friend, Chichi. Please advise her because I think she is behaving like a stubborn goat, and you know what happens to stubborn goat. I am very upset, so pardon my choice of words. But this is Chichi’s story. My friend Chichi has been dating this nonsense guy from university. Chichi is an only daughter from a wealthy home, so she is kinda spoilt and a bit on the big side. Because of her size, she exhibits a bit of lack of confidence sometimes.
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Throughout the time she was dating this nonsense Arinze guy, the guy was cheating on her with different girls. Everyone told her to dump him but she would not. She was in love with him. One day, she met a girl in his room….and he told her the girl was his cousin. At night, Arinze started f#cking his cousin. That gave Chi small sense, so she broke up with him. But not for long…Arinze came begging with gifts and our girl forgave him o. Me, I wanted to beat Chi but I left her cos na she sabi.
I love my friend cos she is nice but sometimes too nice and people like Arinze are taking advantage of her. This relationship continued until we left school and sent for service. We all heard that Arinze dumped Chi during youth service. We were happy o. But after service, Chi got a bank job with the help of her father’s connection. It was like a year later, Chi was dating a guy from Delta and the guy was ok. Things were going fine but out of no where, Arinze came into the picture and began to beg Chi to come back.
Chi who is hopelessly controlled by Arinze broke up with this good boyfriend of hers simply because he is not Igbo and followed Arinze. It was not long after, that the cheating circle began with Arinze…and this time when Chi talked about it, he would beat her and later cry for forgiveness. Everyone is tired of talking to Chi…we are all praying they dont marry cos this will be the biggest mistake of her life. Last December, Arinze had an accident…guess how he got the accident? He was going to pay the bride price of another girl when the vehicle had an accident and the girl died but Arinze survived with injuries.
Arinze called my friend from hospital and my mumu friend did not even consider that her Arinze was going to do introduction for another girl when he had an accident and the girl died o. Chi carried herself to hospital and has bee playing the understanding girlfriend since Arinze has been in the hospital for a whole month. She cooked for him, cleaned him and when he was discharged, she continued.
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Arinze’s family dont even like Chi that much because they see her as to desperate, some are even accusing her of being responsible for the accident that Arinze had because they said she does not want anyone else to marry Arinze except her. Arinze has also said he has decided to marry Chi because she did not mind that he had an accident when he was going to do introduction for another girl even when he was dating Chi…so he now convinced Chi is the woman ordained by God for him…that Chi never takes offense…that Chi stood by him when he almost died.
My brothers and sister…Chi is selling asoebi for wedding this Easter….to marry the same man who was on his way to marry someone else barely three months ago!!!….Her parents are not so happy but she is an only girl….they cannot deny her anything she wants. Her dad called me to advise my friend and I have been talking to her since for the last three weeks…I am telling my friend that she is about to make a mistake by marrying Arinze but she wont listen. Apparently, this guy would have married someone else if the accident did not happen.
Occasionally, I send her stories from Lively Stones, that is why I want to share her story here….so that she will read other peoples comment and advise…I don’t know what else to do. Do you people honestly think that after all said and done….that Arinze is truly the one for Chichi? Could the accident have opened his eyes? Will that stop him from cheating on her or beating her in the future? Please advise my friend.
Anonymous
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It’s just a matter of time , he comes back to his cheating nature. He has always used your as an option . Well , right now your friend won’t listen to anyone until she realises herself.
Dear poster,dem no dey advice babe wey dey in love especially the one wey don fall yakata for the guy.
It’s just a matter of time,she go soon receive sense. You dey see say road no dey for where you dey go,but you just one go check how far first abi,as a road constructor wey she be, issorite.
Dear poster,leave her oooo,make she sell aso ebi before she go say you be enemy of marriage,she fit even say na because you never see guy wey go love you nahim make you dey bother yourself on top her matter .
It’s well with Chichi
Later we go still see, please keep me anonymous or hide my identity,we still dey to advice, it’s our work oooo
What i can say try and get to have a couples therapy where the guy sits and questioned on how genuine he is to marriage since he has cheated on many occasions during relationship…….see eh love is beautiful and poisonous at the same time…..i would say let have a therapeutic time with livelystones anchor mama jhzane …maybe only maybe…….
Your friend is not in the right frame of mind to listen to any advice that will discourage her from marrying Arinze.
What you can do now is to pray for your friend.
The elders say that if a bush dog is destined to get lost in the woods, it won’t hear the hunter’s whistle. Your friend has already crossed the rubicon; her feelings for him surpass what she believed was possible with another guy. She’s an adult, responsible and capable of bearing the consequences of her mistakes. Please let her follow her heart; perhaps things may work out.
May concern is that, if you force her to leave him and she can’t find love again until menopause or can’t conceive with anyone new later on, the blame will be on you all. Let her pursue her wish; it’s her life. Just pray for her success and for the guy to change for the better.
On domestic abuse, let me share what my in-law did in a similar situation. My in-laws are predominantly military, from my father-in-law down to the youngest son. When the gra-gra shakara fiancé visited us, all my in-laws donned their military uniforms just to demonstrate the family he’s marrying from. Till today, my guy hasn’t laid a finger on her babe. In fact, he’s as gentle with her like over-watered akamu (cornmeal pudding).
Please, let him marry her officially before people he wouldn’t dare disappoint. That’s my perspective.
My dear love works in mysterious ways , that accident happened to show Arinze the sacrifices of love , he has no choice to reciprocate or die a painful death.
Let her marry him since she is resolved to marrying him with no doubt in her heart.
Allow her carry this cross which she has sacrificed this long years.
I wish her a happy married life, and thank God she has a friend like you, just keep an eye on her n pray for her. It would be fine.
No doubt in my heart.
Your friend must be married now to Arinze, I guess.
Well, I will only say that being married or in a relationship isn’t the criteria of building happy tomorrow together.
Anyone that you love and the fellow doesn’t respect you, it is a huge issue and with time it will destroy every atom of love or joy in that relationship.
As a woman, you must not tolerate cheating and physical abuse. When you are fully married, every character , good or bad will be amplified and obviously displayed without limits.
If Arinze is a cheat and abuser, he will be worse and arrogant in the marriage. No one can comfortably say how bad cheating can turn.
He may get someone that will eliminate you, snatch him completely and leave you brokenly would train you to money bag and abandon you without a show of love.
Will you tolerate that?
Any lesson we don’t learn and things we don’t fix in a relationship or walk away from, we will live to regret
Arinze isn’t the best man for your friend. Except he encounters Jesus today and surrender fully for a transformation in his life, that union will be a regrettable one for your friend.
All the best.