True Life Story: I Never Knew My Wife’s Best Friend Was Envious Of Her-Pt 2
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Dear Lively Stones
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading my story last week and for sharing your advise on the situation with my wife. So, here is an update on the situation: after several days of ignoring my wife, we eventually agreed to see a marriage counsellor. The first day of the appointment with the marriage counsellor lasted seven hours and we achieved nothing. We basically kept screaming at each other…we were hurt. I was hurt emotionally….I have just learned my wife is f#cking a married man …..but my wife was hurt both physically and emotionally.
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Well, we went home and cried. We both decided to get a divorce, there was no need going back to the marriage counselling appointment. So, I decided to take a few of my things and leave the house, I was going to a short let apartment until I find a place to rent permanently. As I packed my stuff, my wife was still crying. My heart was shattered into several pieces but I was too angry to even offer her some consolation. I moved out and that night, I drank myself to stupor, trying to numb myself from the pain.
The next day, my wife sent me a text: she said where are you, come home…let’s figure this out…I will do anything to fix my marriage. I looked at the text for more than 3 minutes not knowing what to reply her but I got in my car…and found myself driving back home. When I got home, there were no words, we just held each other, crying until we started kissing and ended up making love. As I made love to my wife, I began to understand why she cheated.
My wife is the most beautiful woman with perfect body but the accident gave her scars. And even so, she is unable to move around like she normally does. I could see that she is now insecure about her body, as I touched her, she winced, she was nervous. I had to calm her down, I became intentional about how we were communicating during love making. I don’t know where the inspiration came from but all I was thinking was how to make my wife comfortable with me. We both finally slept and for me, this was the first time I was sleeping well in many weeks.
My wife and I have decided to move on from this trauma. She has stated that she will find another physiotherapist to continue her sessions. As for Chrissy, we have decided to ignore her. My wife said she can do whatever she likes with that pregnancy but I will never claim the child. My wife made me swear never to agree to claim to be the father of Chrissy’s child. I did…I swore and have decided in my heart, only children from my wife will be called my children.
Somehow, there is quiet now after the storm in my house. But that does not mean that in my heart, I am still not wondering what the future holds. Well, I guess we just have to wait and see….right? Wait and see what Chrissy decides to do with the pregnancy…if she keeps the pregnancy…will I really be able not to lay claim to my own child? As for Ella’s affair with her former doctor, I still wonder….have they really ended things? Is Ella really over him or she is just trying to keep this marriage?
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I wont lie, there are days that all I want to do is plot how to strangle Chrissy and that doctor. I wish them dead. They ruined our perfect lives. Now I wonder, does Ella really love me? Does she still have feelings for her ex? We don’t talk about these things because we have agreed to move forward but I think between Ella and I….we still have questions in our hearts about the future. I am choosing not to allow fear of the future hold both of us down but my spirit is unsettled.
Maybe what I need is a little more guidance from anyone who has been through something similar….I want to know, did your marriage or relationship survive after you both cheated on each other and after you had a child outside your marriage…how did you survive it? Please advise me.
Anonymous
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Oga, are you a saint?
Didn’t you cheat on her with her friend, Or do you think it does not hurt her as much as it hurts you too?
So you are only angry because she cheated, then what about you?
You are a self-centered man.
You need to get a grip on yourself man and move on.
You should be the one trying to fix the marriage here.
You want to eat your cake and have it too.
Oga, you messed up too, big time, so rest.
I don cry tireee.how marriages break easily on the alter of iniquity.
I wish you can turn back the hand of time , but you can’t. A part of you both have been broken hardly to be mended again.
This sin of yours has a fruit that would hunt you for life but do Ur best to forget as much as u can.
Just move on with constant prayers and intentional act of love that all I can tell you bro.
Its a pity
Thank God you have settled with your wife. And for being honest at least.
But you see sir, a man is not a man until he accepts responsibility. You both cheated. Now you are more concerned about what your wife has done than what you did. Check your heart sir, after the accident with your wife, didn’t you nurse any thoughts about her body knowing that it won’t be the same?
That’s where you should have come in and assured her of your love for her but I guess you never did even if you did, was it coming from your heart or just your mouth?
Love is not a feeling nor is it an emotion sir. It’s a command from our Lord Jesus Christ. All you need now is to believe in Jesus and allow him to heal you sir. Your heart and your wife’s heart has been broken so it needs to be mended. And only Jesus Christ can mend it.
You don’t need to worry about the future. You should be concerned about where you will spend ETERNITY when you die sir.
Commit everything to God because he knows the end from the beginning. And accept Jesus Christ as your and Saviour of you are not. Pls sir divorce is not an option so delete it from your mind.
Shalom sir.
Thank God you both found your way back to each other. That could have been only possible because of LOVE. So, you questioning your wife’s love for you is uncalled for. I believe she loves you.
What you both need to do now is to hand your marriage over to God and allow Him to truly heal your home. Be more intentional about your love for God and each other now.
If it’s possible to relocate to somewhere far from the two elements that brought chaos to your marriage, please do.
It will help you to start afresh.
Of course, I believe by now you both have blocked and deleted every means of communication with them.
God will heal your home completely by His grace.
Your marriage will never be the same because once a woman cheat and you forgive her, she will blame you for it and continue cheating. Ask any man above 50 years that has experienced life and he will tell you. A cheating woman is a dangerous woman. Do you think Chrissy will just let go that easily? She will never give you peace of mind. Tell yourself the truth. Please end the marriage and move on.
You need to stop worrying about what if and start being the best husband. Be intentionally about everything henceforth. You must have a clear goal for your family.
Start planning together, communicate more. Don’t give room for excuses and from time to time do a reality check with your wife. Don’t just assume you are doing all the right things, get her input. She is your wife and life partner.
As for that child, as long as Chrissy keeps that child, you can’t shy away from your responsibility. It is not the child’s fault for having irresponsible adult as parents. You have to own up to your responsibility. If she gives birth do a DNA test.
Dear poster,you both have cheated and your wife really wants the marriage to work, kindly give her the chance. I wonder why you’re so pained and feeling paranoid at the same time .
I’m just wondering,if you hadn’t cheated and you caught your wife cheating or you heard,what would have happened? You would have called for divorce immediately because I don’t know why all these fuss ?
Forgive her and make your marriage work,as for Chrissy abi na wetin una dey call her,the home wrecker and enemy of peaceful marriage,if she decides to keep the baby,you can’t deny or run away from your blood,I say make I clear you that one first. The only thing you can do is DNA to ascertain the paternity of the child .
Peace be unto your home
I am personally pleased with this poster and his wife progress
They have shown that maturity and love and determination can work
My advise to both of them is have faith in God
You cannot control what happens on future but have faith in God to carry both of you
That Jesus died for the whole world and forgave their sins has not stopped people from committing sin
But faith in God to forgive when we fall is what salvation is all about
The will need a long time therapy, one based in the word of God yo make it.
As for the child outside, you do not need to be involved but you most certainly have to set up something through a lawyer to provide for the child’s well-being.
Now… The real work begins…
Everyday… Hold your spouse hands… And pray
Prayer and patience will take you far
Pray for forgiveness for both of you
Pray for grace to face the future together
Pray for healing of every hurt
Never let your spouse go
Be invested in her… Spiritually, physically and emotionally.
We are routing for you.
God has got your family…
Forgiveness is easy, but being able to trust again is another different story. ✌️Marriage is work. Marriage is responsibility. Marriage is patience. Marriage is sacrifice. Marriage is forgiveness.Never marry anyone with an unforgiving spirit. Forgiveness is an important ingredient in any beautiful marriage.