True Life Story: Love Or Lust-Call It Whatever But I Am Seriously Thinking Of Calling Off My Engagement
Dear Lively Stones,
I am in an emotional crossroad, I am thinking of calling off my engagement. I need some advice. I am in love with my manager at work. My manager is a very handsome and intelligent man in his late thirties while I am 23 years old, I got posted to this company for my service and was later retained after because I was one of the best IT corpers they had. I love working in this company because there are so many smart people here, I have also learnt quite a lot from my manager here during late hours work in the server room.
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It was not my intention to fall for my manager but he is very cute and charming. Alot of girl flirt around him, I never flirted around him but I used to hitch a ride with him from work most times. This guy has no intention of settling down cos I know he has a baby mama whom he says he cannot marry because of her bad character but he keeps getting her pregnant. They have two kids together….he is a great dad but he says he cannot marry his baby mama.
When I started working here, I met someone and things are pretty serious….lets call him Andy..Andy is a good guy…we both love each other and have started talking marriage plans. All that has been going on until I started noticing how my manager would be starring at me. His stares became quite uncomfortable so I asked him what it is. He said nothing at first but he kept starring …I had to tell him I was uncomfortable with his stares….that was when he said, he thinks he is falling for me.
When he said he is falling for me, I told him that he should not say that cos we are professional colleagues and I dont want anything to do with him cos I have a boyfriend. He said ok…but the stars did not stop. Sometimes, I will catch him starring and it felt like he was seeing me deep in my soul. One day, he cornered me at work, pressed me against the wall…he said I was driving him insane….his breathe felt hot and I began to shake….he asked if I wanted him to kiss me….I was shaking…I said no but that no was not convincing.
My manager later apologized and said he thinks I should get a transfer from the department cos he cant control himself around me. Transfer to where? I loved working with him…I was not going anywhere. I later found myself thinking about him even while not at work. The s3xual tension between us kept building. I could see we were both struggling. Then his birthday came and we celebrated him in the office. I gave him a smart watch as birthday gift. He sent me a text that he likes the watch but he would have preferred something more from me.
I knew what he meant by something more…I was now turned on….I began to want him back…I wanted him to touch me…so I said…if you want more…come get more…he warned me not to tempt him….I was past thinking and I said….I want you too…we both kept sending flirty messages that day until it was late…..he came over to my desk…pulled me up and we started kissing….by this time…both of us were so hot and horny…we had s3x all over the office…on my desk…on the floor…against the wall…this was wild.
This was the first time I had such an experience…..my manager made love to me like no one else ever did. It was after we finished, we both realized, none of us had protection. We had to stop by a pharmacy to buy a morning after pill. Before he dropped me off….he fingered me and I had an experience. After that day….we were both unstoppable…we f#cked at work and on our way home. We could not keep our hands off each other.
Of course, a few times we told ourselves we have to stop but we could not. I started going to his place even on weekends. Things got so bad that one day, I came to his place and met a girl…I became so mad at him….I started hitting him but he kept saying she is just a hook up…that nothing is going on with them…he paid the hook up and we started f#cking for the entire day. It became like I was drugged and addicted to my manager.
How else do I explain this? I know he is f#cking other women including his baby mama but I don’t care…I once met his baby mama in his house….she was cooking for him…I did not even care she was there…I went straight to his room and we f#cked while his baby mama cooked and served us…the babe sef knew what’s up. Neither of us wanted to give up. He gave her money and she left.
My boyfriend Andy he has been a very good boyfriend even when I think he suspects something is going on with me, he thought maybe I was getting impatient about marriage cos he took me to dinner and proposed to me. It was a surprise and everyone kept saying…say yes…say yes…I said yes….Andy is a good guy and deserves a good girl but I can’t help myself with my manager. I prayed to God to help me break up with my manager.
So I sent him a message that I want us to stop seeing each other cos I am now engaged…he sent me a message that no man can have me that I belong to him…that I have managed to change his mind…that he sees his future with me…he says I am the one who has changed him about marriage….that he sees I am not trying to change him but that I have accepted him and his flaws…and he sees I am genuine. That he will marry me so I should forget about Andy.
When I got to the office, he ordered me to remove my engagement ring, I did. He said his baby mama was the one who advised him to marry me because I am not the jealous or possessive type. I am confused….I am jealous that Terry (my manager) f#cks other women including his baby mama but I don’t show it because I am terribly in love with him. So I told him I can’t marry him….that even though I love him….I don’t want to share my husband with other women for the rest of my life.
Terry has said I will not marry anyone, not when he is alive….I don’t wear my engagement ring to work…we are still seeing each other and my wedding introduction with Andy is next week. I am completely overwhelmed. Andy does not deserve this. I love him because he seems like a very safe choice for me but the s3xual chemistry with Terry is like a drug in my blood….Andy is no where close. I have never experienced orgasm with Andy but Terry is a lover…he knows how to please a woman that makes her wanting for more.
This situation made me go for confession last week and after the confession, I resigned from my job. I knew I have to completely run away from Terry if I could ever be free of him. Andy was surprised at my resignation. I lied to him that my manager was hitting on me. But resignation has not helped me much. I still think about Terry…I want him more and more….I don’t know what happened….I took a cab and went to see Terry yesterday evening…when he saw me at the door….he smiled and said I told you…you belong to me..no one else will marry you…you are mine forever.
I spent the whole day with Terry yesterday….even when one of his regular hookups came…they f#cked and I still stayed….I think I am completely done for…I have no explanation to my behaviour…I am ashamed of myself….I resigned, lost my job to focus on my upcoming wedding introduction….yet I am still in love with a f#ck boy and a womanizer…I feel like I am deceiving myself…should I call off this thing with Andy? I feel so bad…I think I need some more time to get Terry out of my system…but I also fear that I may never be able to get him out of my life.
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I thought maybe if I resigned and got married to Andy…I would be able to forget Terry but it seems that is not going to work. Maybe Terry is my destiny….he has been reassuring me that he will marry me…that I should forget about Andy…I don’t think Terry is capable of marriage….he has said that marriage is not for him more times than anyone can count….I think him saying he will marry me is not serious but I still can’t stop thinking about him.
Someone may be wondering why can’t I just leave Terry….I tried, Remember? I resigned….yet….I still went back to him…I am fearful for my future…should I call off the engagement with Andy or perhaps, marrying Andy will be my salvation? Maybe things will change if I get married to Andy…we could relocate right? That has been my dream though…you know IT is very lucrative abroad….Andy and I can japka…maybe that will be my way out….maybe I should just relax, get married and start planning to relocate….that sounds like a good plan…what do you think? Please I need your help and advise.
Anonymous
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Terry is your destiny.
Please, don’t destroy the innocent Andy. Break up with him and go to Terry.
You don’t deserve Andy.
Break the engagement please. And face the tremendous wahala you’ll face with Terry and his baby mamas.
Make God help you, make you no quick born for Terry. Your eyes go see weeeen.
In all, please spare Andy
Hello aunty, my advise is simple take a moment and think about the future….and choose life love peace discipline home and shun addiction betrayal despondency depression and obsession…terry is the latter….you have been given a door in meeting a good man in andre but the drug in Terry is uncontrollable….i tell you it is its lies in God and discipline just take a stand and with the help of God you will find strength in turning away……….death await and everything associated with it…..be strong you can do this
Why have you decided to pitch your tent to a life time of regret, sorrow and insecurity when you have the chance of a happy and secure life? You have allowed Fantasies to blindfold you to Reality. You are in a dream that if you don’t snap out of it, you will live a life of regret. Terry is a fantasy. You are just one of his conquests. He has no future with you. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. You will end up being his baby mama. He’s only out to ruin you for another man. Don’t go any further with Andy until you come to your senses. You need to run for your dear life. Yes, run away. Block and delete all contacts with Terry and relocate. You have to embark on a self saving mission. Then most importantly, give your life to Jesus. Repent. Ask God to change your life and deliver you from the spirit of lust. If you are not delivered, you will continue with the life of promiscuity, even marriage may not save you from it.
Dear poster , kindly leave the manager alone, abeg,he doesn’t mean good for you oooooo.
He will only ruin you ooo, because of him,you resigned from your job and I’m sure he still works in the company where you resigned from.
Egungun be careful,na express you dey go ooooo. Wisdom is profitable to direct
Dear poster, u are not in love with ur manager, na d way e dey fuck u dey mess wit ur brain like dat buh trust me, ur eyes go soon clear. U don even deserve d Andy guy, go b wit ur manager and his numerous bedmates.
Now, make I advise uu. Wake up in d middle of d night, get a pen and a paper, write down d qualities of both of Dem and DO NOT include $£X. Den u will have ur answers. My 2cents.
You don’t deserve Andy. Please do not marry him, that will be the greatest miatake.
Have you every heard of STD/I? Begin to reason with your senses and not your urges. Those sexual escapades are all Terry can offer you. The only reason he told you about marriage is because he thinks he has a strong hold on you. You will only end up like his baby mama. He can never be faithful to you.
Dear Poster,
If you have a younger one who shares this your story as their experience, what will be your advice to her?
Deceit, heartbreaks, destruction of destiny and endless wayward life with lost are staring you at your face.
Either you advice yourself and work on your.mid to forget Terry or end your engagement with Andy before introduction and spare him hurt.
Terry said all those words to have you think about him and remain his sex toy. No baby mama will be coming to cook for the father of.her children and encourage him to marry someone else when she still has her eyes on the man.
Think.
Wake up.
Caution yourself and be careful.
You are lusting and it’s doom.
Take the best advice.