True Life Story: My Fiancé Promised Me Marriage But He Is Scared Of Commitment
Dear Lively Stones,
I need your advice. I don’t know how to start this but I am very confused about my life and my relationship. So, I met Gabriel (not real name) about five years ago on Facebook. We got chatting and all. After a while, he invited me to his place and we had S**. After that, he became distant and kinda disappeared for a while, he wont return my call or even text me. So, I thought to myself that maybe he just wanted a hook up and I was fine with that.
After a few weeks, he started contacting me again. I was like, guy what do you really want. He now told me that he is in a relationship and they are getting married. I was like, I wish you the best. But he kept telling me that he cant stay away from me because he tried to stay away after we had S** but he could not. I fell for his sweet words and we met again to have S**. Before I knew it., we were having an affair even though I knew he had a steady girlfriend.
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To me, I believed him that he was in love with me but did not know how to break up with his girl that he has promised marriage too. We saw every week and I was really hooked on him. Later on, his girl found out about me and started trolling me on my social media page. I cursed her back and Gabriel was not happy that I confronted his girl. That made him break up with me. I was so upset but months back, Gabriel was back in my p**y. The guy knows how to hit a lady and leave her wanting more.
This time around, Gabriel gave me rules that I must follow, I must never talk to his girl, I must never visit his house except he invites me,etc…I knew it was stupid but I loved him and wanted anything he was offering as against nothing. Eventually, Gabriel and his girl ended things. Gabriel was now all over me, telling me he wants to marry me, before I knew it, he was talking introduction.
So, we had introduction and everything was fine. I then discovered I was pregnant. I told him that we need to do the wedding cos I don’t want to have a baby without doing the proper wedding. He said no problem, that everything is under control. Month after month, my belly was getting bigger, Gabriel was making no move for traditional wedding, talkless of white wedding. I took matters into my hands and started buying wedding things and telling him of my progress. He did not say anything.
When I was around 5 months pregnant, Gabriel said I was being too forward about this marriage thing and its making him to have a rethink. I was shocked cos he was the one who was rushing about marriage before I got pregnant…now that I am pregnant, he entered slow motion. I swear, if I knew he was going to be like this, I would have removed this pregnancy cos if there is anything I swear I will never do, is be a baby mama….
I got upset and accused Gabriel of being a hypocrite….that he knows I am pregnant and he is delaying wedding to disgrace me. In the heat of the anger, Gabriel said he only rushed into marriage to revenge his ex cos he wanted her to feel the pain of leaving him. That now, he realized he made a mistake rushing and so, he thinks marriage should not be in our time table now. God….I have never been so humiliated all my life. So, Gabriel wants to turn me to baby mama?
And the worst is, he did all these to get revenge on his ex…so he does not love me enough. I told him no problem…so he thinks he can play this game…lets play it together. I decided to hook up with guys as well. And I ignored him while I made sure I posted constantly on my status, pictures from all my hook ups. Gabriel got mad and started calling me slut and that is why he can’t marry me. I said ok…leave me alone to do my thing.
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No,….Gabriel refused to leave me alone….he would come to my place…seduce me, have S** with me…so I can keep wanting him….and when I come to him….he gives me cold attitude….Gabriel knows I have a weak point with S** with him. Even when I am pregnant, I was always horny…once Gabriel appears, no words, we just fck like rabbits. I am tired of this whole thing. He does not want to marry me….he says that most times…but when he is fcking…he says he cannot do without me.
When I was eight months pregnant…I told myself…I cant keep going on like this. I told Gabriel we need to stop playing games….if he does not want to marry me…he should leave permanently. He said ok…he left until I gave birth to our son. He was there throughout the labour, he played a very supportive role, infact, everyone was just praising him for being such a good dad. At the baby’s naming, he threw such a big party…his whole family and mine were there.
Everyone will be asking us when are we getting married. I was like, ask Gabriel, when they ask him…he will be like….its all in God’s hands. I finally think Gabriel is scared of commitment. Same thing he did with his ex , he is doing with me…he also did introduction with her at the time…the only difference is that…in my case, I got pregnant. But I am really tired. I cant keep playing house with this guy….we f*ck like a couple…he takes care of me and our son yet the mention of marriage makes him curl up like a scared animal.
Please I need advise….how do I get him to commit…how do I get him to marry me…I hate being referred to as baby mama. I swear, he made me believe he was 100% into marriage else I wont have gotten pregnant or even kept the baby. I wont lie, I have even thought about using jazz to force him to marry me since my p**y game is great but can’t make him a husband…How can I make him marry me please? He has stopped complaining about my attitude of rushing him for marriage but I am doing that cos when I talk….he says I am rushing him but if I keep quiet….he just pretends all is well.
I don’t want to be just a baby mama…just the that American influencer who died after having 3 kids for a Hollywood star but he did not marry her. I need to be a wife. How do I get him to wife me…his family and everyone is tired of asking….they call me ‘our wife’ but I am not really a wife….please, how do I get him to commit to the marriage promise he made? Fellow women who have been in similar situation should please advise….Please help me….
Anonymous
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Stop pressuring him he is not ready for commitment. You can choose to be a baby mama or decide to be independent of him and lead your own life. Meaning you have to able to financial provide for yourself and allow co-parenting with your son’s father. Also you must learn not to have S.e.x with this guy too
He was never ready is not ready and won’t be ready anytime soon but since he takes care of the baby try to condition your mind and move on you mustn’t marry him marriage is far beyond whether you are his wife or baby mama think long and hard don’t rush in else you will rush out. My two cents ✌️✌️✌️
You saw the red flag,you knew he wasn’t steady yet you chose gbola over good behaviour. He had a girlfriend at a time and was cheating on her with you yet you had the got to get pregnant.
My dear,you are already a baby mama. Gabriel will not marry you,if you know what is good for you,take care of your son and be careful,stop doing hook up with guys in order to get back at Gabriel.
Leave Gabriel alone and think of the way
forward,think of how you can better your life and take care of your son. Wait for your husband,you never see husband oooo,forget that guy he doesn’t want to be betrothed to you. Thank God say na boy you born,if na girl ,he would have run away since sef.
Tell him to focus on his son and leave you alone to find your own man.
You actually made this mistake with your own hands,being a baby mama or single mother is not a child’s play,huh!
Let’s make this right.
Never sleep with anyone you are not married to again including Gabriel.
Do not live with him or allow him spend the night over at yours. Don’t ask him to marry you either and don’t chase Him ( with calls too).
If He’s already enjoying the benefits of marriage why would He hasten He’s feet?
He can contribute towards the upkeep of His child but prepare to be financially independent.
Arrange a communal place out each others homes for him to visit his child.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
When He misses your home, food, body, attention perhaps it would make him start thinking seriously and make plans to marry you, if it doesn’t forget him and move on with your life but learn from your mistake. Let a man marry you before He reaps the benefits.
It will be fine.
When we tell them not to fornicate, they call us holier than thou. Stop premarital S.e.x, they call us Holy Mary. Now, you see, you don’t want to be a baby mama but you’re already one. This is something that a simple no to fornication and premarital S.e.x could have solved.
Well, it’s better to be a baby mama than being in loveless marriage. And don’t even try to use jazz on him. If you try and it breaks, you will be treated like a piece of garbage. Of course, the spell will eventually break because anything that comes from the devil doesn’t last forever.