Hello Lively Stones,
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter. I appreciate to be kept anonymous. My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.
I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses.
My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very sexy outfit.
Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill (seduce) at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned.
I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn.
She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted.
Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong.
Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing.
I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.
At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bl*ffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots d*rty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap?
My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.
How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.
I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.
Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.
I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.
I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?
Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage? Please share and advise.
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