Hello Lively Stones,
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter. I appreciate to be kept anonymous. My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.
I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses.
My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt, everything was just glamorous. Then, there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then, my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very S.e.xy outfit.
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Of course, lot of people were dressed to kill (seduce) at the party. In a lit party like this, one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear, my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned.
I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didn’t pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn.
She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted.
Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away, I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong.
Two days later, this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest, this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time, a friend of my wife would do such a thing.
I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.
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At this time, I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bl*ffing and she said I was being naïve. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So, in order to play her game, I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots d*rty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then, I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap?
My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding, I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point, my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However, her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.
How then, do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man, I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.
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I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.
Well, if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night, the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down, she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.
I felt I needed space but the more space I need, the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes, I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.
I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?
Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage? Please share and advise.
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This is really hard to take in as a man and also a married man, sleeping with another person won’t solve the issue here and as that you need to forgive her cos she is your wife. It’s not gonna be easy but this where you have to let it all go
Her friend might have succeeded in ruining your marriage and at that she is coming seductive to you which is a clear glimpse of infidelity in your marriage, u need to think through and cut all tire with your wife’s fwend no matter what, to save your marriage u need to let her go and forgive your wife.. It hurts Buh pls. Forgive and your wife is really sorry
What a lesson about friends OMG so heartbreaking, indeed not everyone clapping for you in this life ,A lot of good points here,am very sorry you had to go through that ,its life accept move on do not let it steal your joy and torment you any further you better than that.See how further you come ,devil is not happy and did all he could ruin success n progress you have build, choice is yours if you let the devil defeat you
I want to touch on your pain a little bit,pain makes us do foolish things ,I remember reading someone where it said NEVER make descions when you mad,now its emmotion talking ,you have fight it hard and refuse to make a descion you would later regret ,just yake ,this as a lesson and move on with the blessed life you have been fortunate to be given
It’s not easy but what I know is ,marriage is for workers
So get to work !!!
Your wife’s friend script is clearly playing out and you are falling for it.
Forgive your wife.
Trust her.
Tell her how her friend came to seduce, then you will get the details of the devil lady she is.
I think sins of the past should be forgiven and forgotten
Please forgive her sir, I really know how you feel…but please forgive her, don’t fall into her trap.
My brother, take your love back to your wife immediately. Invite her to the guest house where you’re currently staying. As soon as she enters the room, just hugg her, kiss her, close your eyes and have a hot s*x with her, you will immediately be healed of the wounds. The devil is at work to ruin your entire life and not your marriage alone. Don’t have s*x with that woman. If you do, you’re gone. You’re luck to have a remorsful wife. I believe her story without knowing her. Please forgive her.
I will suggest you go back home and work things out with your wife. You just need to forgive her and move on with your life.
When trust is betrayed, it’s hard to get back….The more you stay in that hotel, the more you get tempted…Sooner of later,you would fall for that temptation if you don’t go back home and talk things out with your wife…
Do not think sleeping with your wife’s friend would make you even with your wife’s,it will also make you a betrayal…Your wife has realized her mistake and she dying out of guilt telling you to forgive her,forgive her now or you would also regret it later…If you let her go,your business and love life is forfeited already… I don’t know if you have children yet,if you do,you are just at the verge of ruining their lives…Think this over I know its hard but divorce is harder (my thought)…
Your wife shouldn’t keep that kind of friend and you should also watch the kind of people you move with….People like that are called “SNITCH”…You are a man,please do the needful in your home…Forgive her and watch her move if you ain’t contempted with her dealings…
Please forgive ur wife,u really need to open ur eyes n see what that woman is trying to achieve here,but please don’t give Satan the chance to make u regret ur actions, right now u are justify,but if u do anything with ur wife’s friend then it will be come a diaster,so please let it go,I know that u are hurting right now,but forgive ur wife she is really sorry.
Please, I want you to see the situation from another angle which will make it easier for you to forgive your wife.
Her friend exposed her. Fine.
Your wife owned up and apologized, which she has continued to do with tears. She said the affair didn’t continue after you got married to her.
Now her friend that exposed her, what do you think she’s trying to do? What is exactly is her aim? TO BREAK YOUR MARRIAGE.
You see, marriage is deeper than you think. It’s a union of two imperfect beings who strive to build their perfection in God.
As you go on the journey of marriage, a lot of things will occur, both the present ones, and the ones brought up by past events, and this case is an example. BUT, what happens if you want to keep your home? DETERMINATION: To Love, forgive and stay.
Please, your wife has apologized, and she told you the affair didn’t continue after you married her. If you truly love your wife, please, trust her and forgive.
As for her so-called friend, tell your wife to stop her friendship with her. She’s an enemy to your home.
Shalom.
Please Sir forgive your wife, this is where for better for worse comes in. To err is human and to forgive is divine. Don’t let that the devil have a legal hold on your life and marriage. Don’t even think adultery can make things go back to normal, No Sir, but you will be playing with fire if you give in to that your wife’s friend. You and your wife are family and her friend is the enemy that allow the devil to use her to come in between your marriage. Please for the sake of God forgive your wife from the depth of your heart and let peace, Joy and tranquility return to your home. You both should seek Godly Counsel and go for therapy too cos you both desperately need it now. This too shall pass.
Sir your wife’s friend clearly wants to ruin your marriage and you are given her the permission… please forgive your wife. Then together with your wife put her friend to shame……. she’s only jealous of you guys…. and also don’t let that lady control your emotions over your wife. Please forgive her
Your wife is not a saint! Her Friend seducing you is certainly no better! Please, allow peace to reign!
Sir wat happened is very hurtful. But if am not mistaken for these 8 years can u boardly say you haven’t had affairs with any lady. But even if u haven’t , nobody is perfect don’t let a strange woman scatter you home. It might just be the devil in form of that woman trying to snatch ur success. Any home with peace is devour of success. Please forget it and move one. And make sure that evil woman doesn’t come close to ur family again.
Is really hard and difficult but please believe ur wife and forgive her.
Please go back to your wife and mend things with her. Yes she did a mistake but it’s in the past, we all make mistakes in the past and what really matters is the present. That friend of hers just wants to destroy your marriage, she has no good intentions. If you continue being bitter and respond positively to tempttions, you may make mistakes that may destroy both of you and what you have built. All the best in your healing process
Love is bitter, love is sweet, love hurts, love is awesome, love is sad, love is pure and kind. Truth is priceless.
Revenge is not an option here because you’ll definitely hurt her and hurt you.
I know its hard. Please forgive her.
Pray about it. Go back to her as a husband, friend and partner. Cry if you need to…
Forgive her and stay away from her friend
I believe your wife gas learnt her lesson on so called “FRIEND” & I know her friend us jealous of the beautiful home you both have. The ex is also after ruining your home.
Just like everyone’s advice, forgive your wife, let her meet you at the guest house, have another honeymoon & go back home to continue your life. Whenever the past raise it’s ugly head, take a break together & go to a quiet place to rekindle your love. Sometimes, forgetting takes the grace of God & the fear of God.
Pls, I just discovered some typo error that I will like to correct. Thanks
Hello,
I think you should take a deep breathe. You need to be calm to know what to do.
First,recognize that your once happy marriage is under attack and the enemy is not your wife…
Your enemy is your wife’s so called friend.
You need t cut off all communication with that Jezebel for your own good.
Then you and your wife need to see a therapist. There is alot of hurt and trust is affected but I am sure if you can see past the past and understand that there is a dark place in relationships sometimes,you will be fine.
Sometimes couples go through such challenging phases …that is why marriage vows say for better or worse. Maybe you need to cut her some slack because this happened when she was in a dark and vulnerable place.
I do not think she carried on after your marriage and even if she did…she is your wife…you love her right? You should find the courage to forgive her.
Both of you are a great team…do not let a moment of indiscretion destroy everything you both took years to build and I do not mean just wealth…I mean your love and your family.
I encourage you…it wont be easy but you man up and do not let your home fall..you save it…you protect it and you win.
Prayers and counseling will eventually take the hurt away and you will be a much stronger and better team in the end.
Do not give up on your wife…go back home and fix this.
God bless you.
Your wife’s friend is exposing your wife so she can ruin your marriage and then have you all to herself.
She sees you financialy stable and okay and she now want to usurp your wife, (her friend) and take her place,she’s evil…..kettle calling pot black.
Please forgive her,you included in your story of how instrumental your wife was as regards your success,she has wrong ed you ofcourse,but you should forgive her.
Revenge is not going to make you better,its going to worsen things. With your wife’s friend or anyone else!.
Open your heart to GOD,it will help with the bitterness and hurt.
I know your wife is sorry and pulling her weight to make things and.
Dont give in to temptation ,remember your good memories with her.
It is well with your marriage!